Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Peace that Wobbles


esus taught us, saying: ‘I shall ask the Father, and He will give you another Paraclete to be with you for ever, the Spirit of truth whom the world can never accept since it neither sees nor knows Him; but you know Him, because He is with you, he is in you.’  John 14: 16-17

So I woke up this morning at 3:30.  Absolutely peaceful and full of joy.  It seems so deep that it can never be shaken.  Which, from past experience, it will be shaken.  But where did it come from?  

Certainly not from yesterday.  Yesterday I was tired and worn out and overwhelmed.  Surrounded by good faithful people.  Scott and Jenny and Heather are amazingly wise and loving.  And also deeply fun to be around.  Alan was kind and encouraging.  Marco was so very kind.  Matteo had the biggest smile ever.  But as for me.  I was gripping with wobbly fingers.  And went to bed early.  Earlyish.  Are six hours of sleep enough to knock a sad soul out over the wall?

Or has this soul come to the end of itself?  The end of trying to carry it on its own?  Did I release a new level of will and pride and determination- and somewhere in the dreamy wanderings did I encounter the Paraclete, given to us forever by the Father, who is in me and with me?

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

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