Oh for holy ear plugs, the foam ones that block out everything

But now He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation. Colossians 1:22

This is what I offer to you, complete, unqualified reconciliation, free from accusation.  Satan is the accuser, the whisperer of black insidious lies that eat their way into your heart and leave holes aching to be filled. 

I do not accuse- rather I am the seeker and saver who will stop at nothing to bring you into relationship with me.  Never forget that.  There is nowhere in the earth and under the earth that I would not go to bring you back to me.

And if I, LORD God Holy and Almighty, do not accuse you, then who?  Dare you to continue to live in this joyless place?

Could this be the root of all sin, taking things into my own hands?  The metaphorical fruit is so tempting, to be as gods, fingering the heft of its gleaming weight in my trembling fingers. A delight to the eyes.

So sweet and juicy.

But knowing good and evil does not make me a god.  I am flawed and broken.  For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Wretched man that I am! 

Oh to walk free and easy.  Wandering through life in unqualified acceptance, chatting and laughing with delight in the life I have been given, full of quirky oddities and breath-taking beauties and heart-wrenching pain.  But full. 

Not a brittle emptiness.  Always scrabbling and posing. With that ugly tickling in my ear. 

Dear LORD, may I live in Your truth today.  Name the accusations and call them out as not from You. And may I stand enveloped in Your grace, Your gift.  Because really, each whisper is not so much about me; it’s all about You.  Are you able and potent to save a wretch like me?

And the doubts that try to brush away the clear moments of You breaking through the daily fog.  May I set up a Joshua stone of remembrance so that the truth doesn’t get eaten away by the tides of time and darkness.

And the fears which drag my foot just a moment too long; he who hesitates is lost.  Let me plunge into the fierce dense jungle with light-hearted courage knowing that You are just one step ahead of me. Let me take the leap of faith.  Smash through the invisible wall between me and life abundant. Again and again.

Shhhh.  I hear Your footstep in the garden, seeking me, Your friend.