Thursday, October 18, 2012

Scrubbing with an old sponge, because it's all I have


And to Him was given dominion and glory and a kingdom, that all peoples, nations, and languages should serve Him; His dominion is an everlasting dominion, which shall not pass away, and His kingdom one that shall not be destroyed. Daniel 7:14

So Jessica Ridgeway, a ten-year-old walking to school, was kidnapped by a stranger, killed and chopped into pieces by killer still at large... and fourteen-year-old Malala Yousafzai, remains in critical condition after her attempted murder.  And these are just two names of the myriad faces who suffer injustice and humiliation and inconceivable pain on a daily basis.  

My sweet sister Jenny writes, “I really, really don't know how to absorb it, to swallow it as part of "free will" and what does any of it mean and how do we understand who and how and why and where God is.”

And Charly burst out of her bedroom as the twin towers exploded into flames, and shook her fist at the world, and said, “This, this, this is why I don’t believe in God.”

And it all feels very academic to sit around a lunchtime table devotions and parse the concept of My Ways are Not Your Ways, and a God who would ask Abraham to kill his beloved son Isaac, when these names and faces are on our hearts.  The New Living Translation says, "And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine,” says the LORD.

Yep.  And yet.  When I metaphorically scrub at the glass through which I only see dimly or darkly, sort of like Nicole’s windshield that I just hosed down and rubbed with an old towel, I don’t simply see wanton misery and random luck of colliding particles.  Peering back at me through the shadows I see love.  Clear and undeniable moments of grace and rightness and yes, even love.  My human angst and, could it be, the fiery darts of the Evil One would attempt to brush past them.  But that would be untruth.  Because even one smashing breakthrough of light and power wrapped around even me demonstrates that Truth exists.  

And I don’t get it all.  I don’t get very much at all.  Even Daniel, Mr. Faithful and Thankful, wrote, “As for me, Daniel, my spirit within me was anxious, and the visions of my head alarmed me.” And that’s OK.  Who would want to serve a god as cloudy-brained and short-viewed as myself?

Thus, I confess that His thoughts are not my thoughts.  But I will choose to say that with confidence and joy.  Because while I can lose sight of hope, even when on tippy toes, He does not.  He has a much bigger perspective.  He stands on a higher vantage point and sees clearly beyond the forest and over the misty mountains.  

King of kings forever and ever
and LORD of lords hallelujah hallelujah
And He shall reign forever and ever
Hallelujah hallelujah

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