Thursday, October 25, 2012

Shushing the voices in my head


I will walk in the presence of the LORD in the land of the living. Psalm 116:8

A spiritual discipline, is the concentrated effort to create some inner and outer space in our lives, where obedience can be practiced.  A spiritual discipline sets us free to pray or, to say it better, allows the Spirit of God to pray in us.  -Henri J. M. Nouwen, Making All Things New

The question is how is this journey like a gift, and how has it been flat out hard work.  

Today is Giovanni’s birthday.  So I am thinking about gifts.  Giovanni really doesn’t want any gifts... he has his parents’ bottomless credit card, really, so stuff doesn’t matter.  It’s kind of funny, a just turning seventeen-year-old asking for a family dinner for his birthday.  And when I asked him to pick a day between right now, or when his high school chums were having a party, he said that really, he would like both nights.  Especially if he could make the food.  So last night we had bread and olives and real mozzarella cheese and chocolate and berries under the twinkly lights to celebrate his birthday in Italy.  And it was good.

The thing about a gift by definition is that it is undeserved.  It is a reflection of the giver and not the receiver.  It is not a reward nor is it a prize.  It is freely offered.  And all the cost is borne by the giver.  

The hard part is the decision to receive the gift.  Over and over.  That’s what Jesus lived.  The temptations in the desert.  The early morning prayers.  Setting his face to Jerusalem.  Not my will but your will be done.

Once I have shushed the voices in my head, the rest is easy.  He does all the heavy lifting with His grace and strength and love.  It’s just that moment, pause.  Beat.  Yes.  And kneel down and pick up my cross and follow Him, in His presence as long as I have breath, in the land of the living.

Interesting.  That old rugged cross is the gift, in so many ways.

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