The meek shall eat and be satisfied; they shall praise the Lord that seek Him. May your hearts be quickened now and forever! All the ends of the world shall remember and turn unto the Lord, and all the kindreds of the nations shall worship before Thee. Psalm 22:26-27
I never cease to marvel how He meets me every morning, answering the very questions that I am unable to form with words: Lord, all my desire is before You. Today He spoke through the famous dishwashing brother from the 1600s. He whispers, "Follow me,” and I respond like Lucy, who went first, biting her lip and trying not to say all the things she thought of saying. But she forgot them when she fixed her eyes on Aslan.
Brother Lawrence: I ask His forgiveness, I abandon myself in His hands, that He may do what He pleases with me. I found myself changed all at once; and my soul, which till that time was in trouble, felt a profound inward peace, as if she were in her centre and place of rest. And I make it my business only to persevere in His holy presence, wherein I keep myself by a simple attention, and a general fond regard to GOD, which I may call an actual presence of GOD; or, to speak better, an habitual, silent, and secret conversation of the soul with GOD, which often causes in me joys and raptures inwardly, and sometimes also outwardly, so great that I am forced to use means to moderate them, and prevent their appearance to others.
This King, full of mercy and goodness, very far from chastising me, embraces me with love, makes me eat at His table, serves me with His own hands, gives me the key of His treasures; He converses and delights Himself with me incessantly, in a thousand and a thousand ways, and treats me in all respects as His favourite. It is thus I consider myself from time to time in His holy presence.
Sometimes I consider myself there, as a stone before a carver, whereof he is to make a statue: presenting myself thus before GOD, I desire Him to make His perfect image in my soul, and render me entirely like Himself.
At other times, when I apply myself to prayer, I feel all my spirit and all my soul lift itself up without any care or effort of mine; and it continues as it were suspended and firmly fixed in GOD, as in its centre and place of rest.
I know that some charge this state with inactivity, delusion, and self-love: I confess that it is a holy inactivity, and would be a happy self-love, if the soul in that state were capable of it; because in effect, while she is in this repose, she cannot be disturbed by such acts as she was formerly accustomed to, and which were then her support, but would now rather hinder than assist her.
Yet I cannot bear that this should be called delusion; because the soul which thus enjoys GOD desires herein nothing but Him. If this be delusion in me, it belongs to GOD to remedy it. Let Him do what He pleases with me: I desire only Him, and to be wholly devoted to Him.
May it be so.
He brought me to His banqueting table, His banner over me is love.
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