May He grant thee according to thine own heart. Psalm 20:4
As I meditate on this blessing, I realize how very little I consider what is in mine own heart. What do I yearn for or plan for the future? My thoughts don’t go very far out. It could be the mundane practicality of no one knows what tomorrow will bring, or the more-than-slightly bruised hopes that have been dashed and jumped upon in the past. Why bother looking up from the to do lists to daydream a bit?
But looking beyond those tidy scratched out bits of paper that then sift over to the brown plastic bin next to the dining room table is what gives beauty and joy and all that is good for tomorrow. And most likely what binds me to the lists is pride, the idea of self-sufficiency and tightly gripped control, and fear, will God prove trustworthy?
Nicole makes me nervous. She strides into the room, her arms bursting with Salvation Army orange tag treasures and her head bursting with visions just needing a little bit of spray paint and a lot of glitter and it will be beautiful and trendy and maybe we could all get together and drink egg nog and build a huge fire and blast dance music. Which is not exactly me tapping away at Amazon.com with free shipping. And maybe her sleeping patterns are not exactly regular and maybe sometimes she gets stuck by the side of road in some off-the-GPS road in Texas. But maybe, just maybe, it will give beauty and joy and all that is good for tomorrow.
And I am quite sure that old Bruce Olsen made a few people nervous as he barely packed off to Colombia. Or Albert Schweitzer as he headed east through the purple slashed horizon. Or Gladys May Aylward as she took the one coin from her pocket and purchased a one way passage to Yuncheng.
...This sphere of earthly soil
Astounding plans e'en now are brewing:
Still gives us room for lofty doing.
I feel new strength for bolder toil...
The Deed is everything, the Glory naught.
And today’s Psalm is full of David demands.
May the name of the God of Jacob set you up on high,
Support, refresh, and strengthen you
May He grant you according to your heart’s desire and fulfill all your plans,
May the Lord fulfill all your petitions,
He will answer him from His holy heaven.
We are risen and stand upright;
O Lord, give victory; let the King answer us when we call.
Today I am praying birthday blessings over a couple young men, and I know darn-tooting that I am not praying for a safe and quiet hobbit hole for them. Rather the generational prayer lifted up by my kneeling-by-the-bed parents of May they love God and may they have interesting lives seems pretty good. And the David Demands.
It looks like that I need to pay attention and listen as well. What is mine own heart? And may He grant me accordingly.
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” C. S. Lewis
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