Saturday, May 3, 2014

Looking a gift horse in the mouth reveals bad breath and yellow teeth and is not so smart

but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
    they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
    it takes away the life of its possessors. Proverbs 1:18-19

Life-sucking.  And really I don’t think the Psalmist is just talking about folks hiding behind bushes, poised to leap onto top of and take down some wandering widows and orphans and sojourners.  I think this addresses the me who gets distracted from what I believe. 

So, having pushed the magic button yesterday, the May 26/27: Tucson>Dallas> Chicago> Berlin>Munich>Istanbul; June 24: Bologna> London; June 25: London> Philadelphia>Denver June 29: Denver>Tucson button, I thought to myself that I better start strolling around Reid Park like for the next twenty-one days wearing pretty sturdy boots just to kind of pretend that I am not going to die a thousand deaths on El Camino de Santiago.

There I was happily wandering among the creosote and soaring eagles and leftover fresh night air and scurrying quail, every now and then reminding myself to step out of a wander and into a purposeful stride, when my thoughts drifted into a ten-bullet suggestion list for American Airlines to improve their woefully inadequate customer service. I mean, I was on the phone twelve or fifteen times, around and around and then at last two and almost half hours yesterday during both my lunch and planning period and then got charged thirty-five dollars twice for sitting on their stupid phone during normal work hours instead of buying tickets online even though everyone kept saying the problem was their tech system and… ah, yes.

Pause. Breathe. Believe.

Losing my life. That it may be found.

The seed dying in order that it may bring forth a harvest, ten-fold, thirty-fold, even a hundred-fold.

Ah yes, dear Jim Elliot: He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.

Ah yes, dear Lewis: Give me all of you. I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want you. All of you. I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to kill it. No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out. Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. His will. His heart.


Dear LORD may I not settle for being a fool.