Let my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding, according to Your word.
Let my supplication come before You; deliver me, according to Your promise. Psalm 119:169-170
Sometimes those lightening bolts from heaven strike. The ones we plead for, the ones for understanding.
And, well, sometimes they pierce like a sword into the heart, slice and dice, and reveal what has been hidden. And it can be humbling. This in-sight, seeing inside and the sin that lays there, putrefying, poisoning quietly and steadily.
And this morning the prayer of Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting turned into a spotlight beam.
And wow, I don’t even know how to begin to making things right, where the path of reconciliation will lead; right now it seems pretty hopeless.
But at least I know where it begins. Right now, confession. Because not only is He faithful and just and cleansing, but He is merciful. And in Him is my trust. My trust alone.
And ol’ Phil Drysdale, the guy going through a hard time as well, reminds himself and me and all of us what is true: If you want to rediscover your joy and peace the first step is placing your hope firmly in the one who is unchangingly good and is for you in every way.
Answer me when I call, O God, defender of my cause; you set me free when I am hard-pressed; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. Know that the LORD does wonders for the faithful when I call upon the LORD, He will hear me. Tremble, then, and do not sin; speak to your heart in silence upon your bed. Lift up the light of your countenance upon us, O LORD. You have put gladness in my heart, more than when grain and wine and oil increase. I lie down in peace; at once I fall asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4