Saturday, February 27, 2016

He did not come like a rushing mighty wind. But gradually the Person of the Holy Ghost filled all our thoughts, His Presence filled all the place, and His light seemed to penetrate all the hidden recesses of our hearts. -Rees Howells

Praise the LORD from the earth, you sea-monsters and all deeps; Fire and hail, snow and fog, tempestuous wind, doing his will; Mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars; Wild beasts and all cattle, creeping things and winged birds; Kings of the earth and all peoples, princes and all rulers of the world; Young men and maidens, old and young together. Let them praise the Name of the LORD, for His Name only is exalted, His splendor is over earth and heaven. Psalm 148:6–13

Perspective.

These have been quiet days. The gunk which is sweeping Tucson laid me flat on my back for five days and counting. Lots and lots of quiet. Well, except for the hacking cough. And it has been one of those gripping headache sicknesses where I have felt too lousy to even read; just a page or two and then quiet. Quiet under the February blueness and surrounded by Alan’s peonies. And Pippen is always snuggled somewhere in the midst of the Hosterman knit blanket.

Praying through Rees Howell battling the Nazis long hour after long hour, front after front, faithful and unrelenting. The battle is not against flesh and blood but principalities and against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world. What does it mean to be an intercessor, one who stands in the gap.

Reading Passage to India that captures all peoples so clearly.

Perspective.

And it has been a Lenten time of repentance. Confessing ingratitude. Expectations. Resentment. Accusation. Tools of the Evil One straight from the first temptation in the Garden which smashed the joyous unity with Him.  Allowing His loving claws to rake down deeply through the dragon skin that surrounds my heart.

In the light of His purity, it was not so much sin we saw as self. We saw pride and self-motives underlying everything we had ever done. -Rees Howells, Intercessor

And now it has been eight days and counting. Gladden the soul of your servant, for to you, O LORD, I lift up my soul.

And this has been my prayer for myself on Saturday, every Saturday, for years upon years: LORD please make me ever aware of Your Spirit, moment-by-moment wisdom, quicken my spirit to immediate, full-of-faith obedience.  Cause me to be thankful…this obedience results in a joy that brings glory to you.  

And I slip up so often on this moment-by-moment wisdom.

Quicken my spirit to immediate, full-of-faith obedience.

And for me, wisdom usually equals silence.
And obedience usually means silence.

Usually. Intercessor. Allowing the Spirit to groan deeply within.

And to stand back. And let Him do His thing.

But He showed us, 'There is all the difference in the world between your surrendered life in my hands, and I living My life in your body.' We read the Acts afresh, and found we were reading, not the acts of the apostles, but the acts of the Holy Ghost. -Rees Howells, Intecessor

So I read Acts as well. Afresh.

And sometimes obedience is not silence, but a bold leap into words. Sometimes. Just this week, I felt the familiar tug: God longs to demonstrate His great love and power by removing that tumor… and the next day I received this email:

I just want to share this:
I went to get the magnetic resonance yesterday. The radiologist (if that is how you say it in English, haha) looked at the X-rays and the results from the other tests. He asked me a set of questions. Then, they put me in the capsule for about 40 minutes. They took me out and he said he was confused because he did not see anything, he even asked me about the X-rays, he asked me if those were recent, and I told him they were from this week. So, although he seemed to be confused, he told me he was going to run another resonance so they put my body half way into the capsule and ran another test for about 30 minutes. In the end, he told me he cannot explain himself because what is reflected in the X-rays did not show up in the images in the magnetic resonance. Inside my head, I kept thinking, he cannot explain it but I can, I know God has his ways. 


Praise the LORD from the earth, you sea-monsters and all deeps; Fire and hail, snow and fog, tempestuous wind, doing his will; Mountains and all hills, fruit trees and all cedars; Wild beasts and all cattle, creeping things and winged birds; Kings of the earth and all peoples, princes and all rulers of the world; Young men and maidens, old and young together. Let them praise the Name of the LORD, for His Name only is exalted, His splendor is over earth and heaven. 

And somehow all of this craziness and pain and beauty and delight and heartbreak and sea-monsters and fire and tempestuous wind is to His exaltation. King of the earth and all peoples. Praise the LORD.

And today’s Joy Dare was for the ugly-beautiful gifts, for example this ugly cough and the beautiful silence. His gift.

Silence.

Words.


And His wisdom to know the difference.



Tuesday, February 16, 2016

Go low, once again.

Go low.

In God the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust and will not be afraid, for what can mortals do to me? Psalm 56:10

…knowing that the One who had called them into this life was able to deliver in all circumstances.     –Rees Howells, Intercessor

So every morning Jack and Pippen come over to deliver the Arizona Daily Star that we share. And every day he asks about my day yesterday, and this morning I replied, “Simply awful.” It was. I felt like one of those soaked huddled bedraggled pelican clinging to a black pointy rock in the middle of a crashing sea.




I spent the day trying to stand strong and firm while angry children flung themselves at me and pummeled me with their words and rolled eyeballs and sneers and loud profanities and slammed books onto the floor and utter disengagement in the learning process.

And today His word was new. Once again, again and again. I received the command, “Go low.” Dive under the wave. Strong and smooth and focused. Go low.

And of course every teacher (and grandmother of a two-year-old) has this mantra pounded into her head: Choose your battles. But today the LORD God Almighty has declared that the battle is His and none are mine, and that I am to let Him wield the sword.

And once again I am grateful for the stories of ol’ He of Little Faith Gideon. And God was patient with him and showed him again and again that He Is Enough. It is not about me. Step down and watch Me do My thing.

And one of those jillion of articles floating around the internet is about stress and how really stress is not an issue. What is an issue is fear. And it is always pretty fun to hear ol’ Brandon talk about this his passion, to deal with stress without fear, but with trust, like when weird winds suddenly toss his little plane on a solo flight across the desert. Or how an EMT responds to a disaster, like the flipped over car right in front of our house yesterday afternoon.

Go low. Strong and smooth and focused.
Soft is stronger than hard.
Water is stronger than rock.

And the Audry Assad songs of the morning, back and forth to swimming:
From the fear of serving others
From the fear of death or trial
From the fear of humility
Deliver me O God
Deliver me O God

And I shall not want, I shall not want
When I taste Your goodness I shall not want

And
Strange and sweet collision of justice and mercy
Your burden is light and Your yoke is easy
I know, I know, and I believe You are the Lord
I know, I know, and I believe You are the Lord
Help my unbelief.

I will not be afraid.
Stand back and you will be amazed.