iacta alea est

Dear LORD God of heaven and earth, please reveal Yourself.  And may we have eyes to see and ears to hear.  And the will to obey.  Prayer of Ramadan

When Joseph woke from sleep, he did as the angel of the Lord commanded him. Matthew 1:24

I am reading Matthew 1 right now, and many of the words used to describe Joseph also describe my father: just, resolved, considered, and most of all, “He did as the LORD commanded him.”

I got a letter a day or two ago from a friend making a big decision who was asking for advise.  And he closed the letter with this advise that the other wise guy in his small circle of counselors had given him: He told me not to let the decision process take too long. It's best to be decisive especially in these big life-changing decisions.

And of course, since I tend to be a Peter-leap-off-the-boat kind of guy, there is a place for “considered,” mulling things over a bit.  But not too much.  Maybe just one night for prayer, like Jesus did before selecting the twelve disciples, a decision that would set the course of history forever.  In so many ways, beginning with a kiss.

Because otherwise, the voices set in.  The voices of fear and what-will-the-neighbors-think? and watering our root of bitterness and our-thought-are-not-His-thoughts. And it becomes about us.  And not about Him.  And there were a bunch of of very good reasons why Joseph should not take this obviously pregnant woman to be his bride, Excuses abound.  Excuses are myriad.  Before we kneel down and pray when edicts are proclaimed, or when we refuse to bow down when edicts are proclaimed.  It’s not the action.  It’s the heart of, “Speak LORD, your servant is listening.”

Because there is only One who knows the rest of the story.  I just have to be willing to take the next step. To kneel down and pick up my cross and follow him. And as I reflect on my father’s life and try to articulate the core values, among which are found those of Joseph, “just,” “resolved,” and “considered,” I know that he was a simple man.  Things were not too complicated.  Leave things cleaner than you found them. Be a leader for good. Quit ‘cher bellyaching. Is there anything I can do to help? And “I am Yours.”

The die is cast. No turning back.  No turning back. 

I am learning to ask, “Who will be honored by this decision?”  Whose are the voices I hear in my head, well-intentioned as they may be.  There is a place where Gandalf is leading the fellowship through Mordor, and neither path was clear, but after a night’s sleep, he decided that one had a faint odor of death.  And he took the other path. 

Because really and truly, each decision sets the course of history forever.