So easily entangled.

And He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Immediately they left their nets and followed Him. Matthew 4:19-20

Although I am sure that people wiser than I have waxed eloquently and with great profundity about the significance of "nets" in this passage, and how Peter and James and John were able to walk away free and clear to follow Him, right now those nets represent something else to me: all that so easily entangles me and trips me up with a great big splat on my face when I am longing to be Mz. Joyful Spirit all day long.

Even when I am wearing the bright red KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON t-shirt from Frederic.

Yesterday as I gaped dumbfounded at a sweet but hurried ticket agent as she explained that it would be much cheaper and faster for me to rent a car and drive back to Tucson even though the plane was practically empty and not leaving for two hours and this is how Delta makes its money charging an extra $800 per ticket and after the car rental guy said he would inspect the car sometime in the next hour or two and then send me his results and the bill in the next couple of days, and after the nice reservation man fixed our tickets after the plane took off hooked me up with someone who would give me a "great deal" because I was a stranded passenger but actually ended up charging me more than the walk up to the door and ask for a room price, and the way too extensive patdown including running a finger all the way around under Mom's waistband because she has had a knee replacement while all of the rich guys who can pay to avoid this humiliation pushed past in their special roped off section left me polite and grateful to the minimum wage person standing in front of me who probably doesn't even get health benefits but inwardly I was raging against the machine, the systems devised by some guy with his feet up in a windowed office overlooking the Hudson River to squeeze the little guy until he is absolutely dry.

And I was stubborn and firm and kept moving up the ladder and sort of straightened things up but I betcha that a lot of people, especially the weary and downtrodden, don't know how to play the May I please speak to your supervisor? game.

But the point is, it was starting to get to me, inside, where it matters. So easily entangled.

And I got called out by someone who was maybe a manager of the airport, who asked me if I was having a rough day after we stood in a long wrong line that was not properly marked because of a construction project and he cracked a really dumb joke to get me to smile. Which is not how it should be. But it is a reminder that I cannot produce love, joy, peace through my own determination and strength.

One more eye-opening repentance. One more decision to practice the presence of God. One more dropping of the nets, And following Him.