And what if Jesus just kicked off His sandals when He walked in the front door.

My heart is firmly fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and make melody. Psalm 108:1

Yesterday Alan and I went to the Church of Christ down the street. And the stained glass window was certainly a pretty humble version of what I saw in my wanderings, but our worship songs were led by some pretty stellar bluegrass fiddling and the summer offerings went towards helping some poor Vietnamese villagers continue clearing their lands of unexploded ordnance leftover from the war. And the short thoughtful sermon on Jesus sending out the twelve and telling them if any place will not receive you and they will not listen to you, when you leave, shake off the dust that is on your feet as a testimony against them. But mostly, we prayed the Lord’s Prayer and spoke Peace to one another and sang the doxology, And were one. And it was good to be reminded that we are His disciples and that we are sent out to preach repentance.

And I know that repent means to re-see.

One of the olde tyme songs was about needing to sing and I was distracted by the idea of singing and my severe lack of it in my heart. Which is indeed a grievous thing reflective of a general attitude of critical analysis rather than childlike gratitude. And taking offense. And Jesus was unable to do mighty works in Nazareth because of the critical analysis attitude of his hometown.

And surely He must marvel at my unbelief as well. So much goodness heaped high onto my plate and I spend my time sorting the colors and sifting for additives or whatever. And pushing away from the table too quickly to scrape and rinse and put the dirty utensils tidily into the dishwasher rather than savoring the moment. It is pretty much the preset button on my machine.

Of this I repent.

And at Pamela’s swearing in ceremony at Calvin Coolidge’s birthplace, the one where she promised to bear arms on behalf of the United States, I noticed the slightly overlong speeches and the fact that no one seemed to be wearing a watch and managing time and really, did they think that we wanted to lay a wreath on the tomb after lunch? Rather than noticing the three-year-old boy in a slicked up navy suit and tie from Bhutan with his father and very pregnant mother sitting right in front of us. And he kept running back to his grandpa next to us and giving him a big hug. Or the very animated Peruvian lady on the other side of Pamela who wanted to make sure that everyone followed the rules exactly so that everything would go off perfectly. But the one I really needed to notice was the first guy from Pakistan with the funny hat who practically did a jig of joy across the stage. And then I needed to notice the backstories of these nineteen people. And remember the over three million refugees from Syria flooding Turkey and Lebanon and Jordan and the almost 1000 illegal immigrants who landed in Italy after threatening to throw babies into the sea if their ship was turned back. And even my ancestors who made their way by ship across that big ocean so many years ago. And no wonder Jon and Pamela were a little teary-eyed.

Of this I repent.

O God, you have taught me to keep all your commandments by loving You and my neighbor: Grant me the grace of your Holy Spirit, that I may be devoted to you with my whole heart, and united to others with pure affection; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

My heart is firmly fixed, O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and make melody.  

And it really all ties together, the war and my own small battle within the overarching victory.

I wasn't even going to post today's meditations. They went personal and deep, but mostly without words, as I sit on a back porch with a cup of instant coffee. But then again, perhaps there is a cognizant thread woven throughout, perhaps a word of encouragement to the other out there, in the fray, ducking behind the shield of faith once again. 

And I know that I have been lashed by the lies of unworthiness and undesirable. Yet He calls me inward, into His unshakeable love. With my feel firmly planted I can then join Him in the battle of restoration, speaking His love to all, as it was in the beginning, so it is now and ever shall be, world without end, Allelulah, Amen. 

His kingdom come. His will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. 

Wow. 

Me of little faith. 

The LORD shall give strength to His people; the LORD shall give the blessing of peace. Psalm 29:11

For they did not take the land by their sword, nor did their arm win the victory for them but Your right hand, Your arm, and the light of Your countenance, because You favored them. Psalm 44:3

Arise, O God, and rule the earth, for You shall take all nations for Your own. Psalm 82:8

Asked by the Pharisees when the kingdom of God was to come, He gave them this answer, ‘The coming of the kingdom of God does not admit of observation and there will be no one to say, “Look, it is here! Look, it is there!” For look, the kingdom of God is among you.’ Luke 17:20–21

Your praise, like Your Name, O God, reaches to the world’s end; Your right hand is full of justice. Psalm 48:1

Glory be to God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. As it was in the beginning, so it is now and so it shall ever be, world without end. Alleluia. Amen.

God With Us. Among us. Giving the blessing of peace with His right hand full of justice. Shining with the light of His countenance. Christ broke the stranglehold of sin, destroyed it once and for all, and now His kingdom is here, even now, among us, working restoration; He shall take all nations as His own. As it was in the beginning, now and so it shall ever be, world without end. Allelula. Amen.

As you see more clearly that your vocation is to be a witness to God’s love in this world, and as you become more determined to live out that vocation, the attacks of the enemy will increase. You will hear voices saying, “You are worthless, you have nothing to offer, you are unattractive, undesirable, unlovable. The more you sense God’s calling, the more you will discover in your own soul the cosmic battle between God and Satan. Do not be afraid. Keep deepening your conviction that God’s love for you is enough, that you are in safe hands, and that you are being guided every step of the way. Don’t be surprised by the demonic attacks.  They will increase, but as you face them without fear, you will discover that they are powerless.

The love of Jesus will give you an ever-clearer vision of your call as well as of the many attempts to pull you away from that call. The more you are called to speak for God’s love, the more you will need to deepen the knowledge of that love in your own heart. The farther the outward journey takes you, the deeper the inward journey must be. Only when your roots are deep can your fruit be abundant. The enemy is there, waiting to destroy you, but you can face the enemy without fear when you know that you are held safe in the love of Jesus. Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love

New life wraps its bright green arms around me.

Proclaim the greatness of the LORD our God and worship him upon his holy hill; for the LORD our God is the Holy One. Psalm 99:9

But you, O LORD my God, Oh, deal with me according to your Name; for your tender mercy’s sake, deliver me. For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. Psalm 109:20–21

I waited patiently upon the LORD; He stooped to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the desolate pit, out of the mire and the clay; He set my feet upon a high cliff and made my footing sure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; many shall see, and stand in awe. And put their trust in the LORD. Psalm 40:1–3

We must learn to live each day, each hour, yes, each minute as a new beginning, as a unique opportunity to make everything new. Imagine that we could live each moment as a moment pregnant with new life. Imagine that we could live each day as a day full of promise. Imagine that we could walk through the new year always listening to the Voice sayin  to us, “I have a gift for you and I can’t wait for you to see it!”

The problem is that we allow the past, which becomes longer and longer each year, to say to us, “You know it all; you have seen it all, be realistic; the future will be just another repeat of the past. Try to survive it as best you can.” There are many cunning foxes jumping on our shoulders and whispering in our ears the great lie, “He is not big enough.”

So what are we to do? First, we must send the foxes back to where they belong in their foxholes. And then we must open our minds and our heart to the Voice that resounds through the valleys and hills of our life saying, “Let me show you where I live among my people. My name is “God-with-you.”

We must choose to listen to that Voice, and every choice will open us a little more to discover the new life hidden in the moment, waiting eagerly to be born. Henri Nouwen, Here and Now

God with me.  That is one of His names.

And it is easy to believe pedaling down backroads in Vermont. Life.

Here. Now. Speaking life out of emptiness. And of course I love the mighty beauty of Aslan’s song in The Magician’s Nephew.

“A voice had begun to sing. It was very far away and Digory found it hard to decide from what direction it was coming. Sometimes it seemed to come from all directions at once. Sometimes he almost thought it was coming out of the earth beneath them. Its lower notes were deep enough to be the voice of the earth herself. There were no words. It was hardly a tune. But it was beyond comparison, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard.”

And on the outside, nothing seems to have changed except now Jon has a vegetable garden and Dan and Witt's has softserve ice cream.

YAHWEH looks down from heaven, He sees the whole human race; From where He sits He watches all who live on the earth, He who molds every heart and takes note of all that men do. Psalm 33:13-14

For He Himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in His flesh the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing the law of commandments expressed in ordinances, that He might create in Himself one new man in place of the two, so making peace, and might reconcile us to God in one body through the cross, thereby killing the hostility. Ephesians 2:14-18

It’s time for the world to see a Church who can keep her love on. It’s time for the sons and daughters of God to mature into a company of powerful people who know how to walk in freedom, practice intimacy and vulnerability, clean up our messes, and invite people around us to become powerful, free lovers. It’s time for those who bear the Name of Jesus to become famous for carrying His huge heart—that absolutely fearless heart of love that pursues connection with broken sinners. This is how the world will know we know Him. Danny Silk. Keep Your Love On.

Why is it so difficult to be still and quiet and let God speak to me about the meaning of my life? Is it because I don’t trust God? Is t because I don’t know Go? Is it because I wonder if God really is there for me? Is it because I a afraid of God? Is it because everything else is more real for me than God? Is it because, deep down, I do not believe that God cares what happens at the corner of (Broadway and Country Club)?

Still there is a voice – right there, in (almost) downtown (Tucson), “Come to me, you who labor and are overburdened, and I will give you rest. Shoulder my yoke and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your soul. Yes, my yoke is easy and my burden light.”

Can I trust that voice and follow it? It is not a very loud voice, and often it is drowned out by the clamor of the inner city. Still, when I listen attentively, I will hear that voice again and again and come to recognize it as the voice speaking to the deepest place of my heart. Henri Nouwen, Here and Now

Alternative consciousness is largely letting go of my mind's need to solve problems, to fix people, to fix myself, to rearrange the moment because it is not to my liking. When that mind goes, another, non-dualistic mind is already there waiting. We realize it is actually our natural way of seeing. It's the way we thought as children before we started judging and analyzing and distinguishing things one from another. As Helen Luke says, "The coming to consciousness is not a discovery of some new thing; it is a long and painful return to that which has always been." Richard Rohr (sent by Brandon Coverdale)

So I woke up this morning in one of my two favorite beds in the world, the tree house fort in Norwich, Vermont. The other being in the House Beautiful in Wheat Ridge, Colorado.

And though it might be a little difficult to believe for those who could not understand my boarding yet another plane and heading in the opposite direction with barely time to run a load of laundry and pay a few water and gas bills, it was a lovely series of flights to the green and rather damp northeast.

I read and reread Danny Silk’s Put Your Love On. And my nifty iVersion lets me underline in seven different colors and add any number of notes and excerpts and cut and pastes. But mostly I want to carve its truths into my heart, seeds from which will spring fruitfulness. Of what it means to be a powerful person. Resting in His joyous freedom and living in His love. Like Him, relentlessly pursuing reconciliation with outstretched arms.

And it is very clear that any place in my thoughts for accusations and judgments and condemnation forms a nice sturdy foothold for the Evil One, from which he can fire his darts, his lies from the pit of hell. He is The Accuser. He is the hissing Whisperer. He knows not mercy nor grace nor forgiveness of trespasses as we have been forgiven our trespasses.

And this foothold leads to double-mindedness, tossing like a storm-driven sea, smashing against those other beloveds of our Father.

And I know that those who love me have seen the storm and broken flotsam and jetsom lying about the beach. And yearned for His stillness for me, His beloved.

Because singlemindness leads to what Richard Rohr describes as having simple clear eyes, common-sense faith, a combination of humility and quiet confidence, and a loving energy that makes whatever you say quite compelling. It also allows you to deal with complex issues with this same simplicity and forthrightness.

And yesterday Nicole sent me a picture.

And she sent it to remind me that He is gentle and humble in heart as He leads me into rest. As I abandon the hefty chains of my own fashioning, and rather shoulder His yoke and learn from Him.

For He himself is our peace.

Before the stifling heat settles down too deeply.

Search for the LORD and His strength; continually seek His face. Psalms 105:4

It is clear that we are usually surrounded by so much inner and outer noise that it is hard to truly hear our God when God is speaking to us. We have often become deaf, unable to know when God calls us and unable to understand in which direction God calls us. Thus our lives have become absurd. In the world “ absurd” we find the Latin word surdis, which means “deaf.”

A spiritual life requires discipline because we need to learn to listen to God, who constantly speaks but whom we seldom hear. When, however, we learn to listen, our lives become obedient lives. The word “obedient” comes from the Latin word audire, which means “listening.” A spiritual discipline is necessary in order to move slowly from an absurd to an obedient life, from a life filled with noisy worries to a life in which there is some free inner space where we can listen to our God and follow God’s guidance. Jesus’ life was a life of obedience. He was always listening to the Father, always attentive to His voice, always alert for His directions. Jesus was “all ear.” That is true prayer: being all ear for God. The core of all prayer is indeed listening, obediently standing in the presence of God. Henri Nouwen, Making All Things New

So I did the walk around Reid Park thing this morning. The same old, same old, yearning to become new. The scuttling quail, like so many little sea crabs. The hawk so close overhead I can almost reach out to touch it. The callings of the peacocks from behind the zoo walls. The bursting red cactus apples. But mostly, I smiled and said hello to the dozens of people joining me in this early morning, before-the-heat-of-the-day walk. Pilgrims really. Each one choosing to get out of bed, slip on worn shoes and head out the door to a day with both very well-known hard hills that need to be climbed and curves leading into the equally unknown.

And yes, even here at home, I heard His voice: I love that one, the one with the University of California Berkeley t-shirt and that one too, pushing a stroller with a sleeping baby. And that older Japanese couple with big floppy hats. And Mr. Armet on his bicycle. Each is beloved, not because of the choices chosen, the feelings felt, or the actions taken, but because I AM Love. And you, my child, are to love because I first loved you, from the beginning of time.

And really, that is all I ask of you. To love Me and likewise, in the same heartbeat, love your neighbor.

And on the plane I was reflecting on another Nouwen writing, about the characteristics of the blessed ones is that, wherever they go, they always speak words of blessing. It is remarkable how easy it is to bless others, to speak good things to and about them, to call forth their beauty and truth when you yourself are in touch with your own blessedness. The blessed one always blesses. And people want to be blessed! This is so apparent where you go. No one is brought to life through curses, gossip, accusations, or blaming. There is so much of that taking place around us all the time. And it calls forth only darkness, destruction, and death. As the “blessed ones,” we can walk through this world and offer blessings. It doesn’t require much effort. It flows naturally from our hearts. When we hear within ourselves the Voice calling us by name and blessing us, the darkness no longer distracts us. The Voice that calls us the Beloved will give s words to bless others and reveal to them that they are no less blessed than we. Life of the Beloved.

Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and salt water? James 3:11

And there was a little Everette-curled girl who was loading up onto the plane with her two dads. And as soon as she got on the plane she squirmed and wiggled, and her dad who was holding her asked, “Do you want to say hello to the people?” and she replied with an eager nod. She slipped out of his arms and walked down the aisle with a huge smile and a huge hello, and one at a time she blessed each and every settling hassled weary squished soul. And each one could not but help return her smile and her hello. And it was a beautiful thing. Spreading joy and peace, blessing, down an without-an-empty-seat American Airlines aisle.

And Tracy and I, grandmas that we are, watched a lot of equally beautiful children throughout our ride through Europe. And again and again we understood why we are to come to Him as little children.

Little children at rest in His love.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul, like a weaned child with its mother; like a weaned child is my soul within me.

Selah.