And all I really had to do is stand up straight, look her in the eye and say, "No."

For God alone my soul in silence waits; truly, my hope is in Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold, so that I shall not be shaken. In God is my safety and my honor; God is my strong rock and my refuge. Psalm 62:6–8

When Jesus was at dinner in his [Matthew’s] house, a number of tax collectors and sinners were also sitting at the table with Jesus and his disciples; for there were many of them among his followers. When the scribes of the Pharisee party saw him eating with sinners and tax collectors, they said to his disciples, ‘Why does he eat with tax collectors and sinners?’ When Jesus heard this he said to them, ‘It is not the healthy who need the doctor, but the sick. I did not come to call the upright, but sinners.’ Mark 2:15–17

…You’ll laugh a bit like it all doesn’t matter, or least doesn’t hurt, and there will be broken eggshells left on the counter and broken promises left after the fact and the real, exposed truth of it is, after it’s all said and done? Is that under it all, we’re right broken.

No one knows but you do war every single day with the slanderous voices in your head and you wrestle a bit with the death dark that encroaches around the edges of everything and you’re never the only one: anyone who gets up has to push back the dark.

I’m standing there in front of the mirror.

Standing there, looking right into me and the abyss of the mess of me that I’ll never get all right. And it comes down to this:

Christianity is the only hope for this broken world because there’s no other way for the broken to get the nails they need to rebuild.

That’s what this week needs, that’s all this week needs most:

More than needing schedules and productivity, this week will need a Savior and a prayer.

God’s not asking me to produce — He’s asking me to pray.
God’s not asking me to climb ladders — He’s asking me to kneel and let go. –Ann Voskamp

So today part of my lesson plan on scientists includes a story from my middle school when I stood up (rather inadvertently) to a bully who shoved and taunted me every single day on the way home from school.  Because pretty much I am one who caves into bullies. If someone acts angry or disgusted or disappointed I will cower quickly. Which is not the way to go. And the point of my story is going to be that scientists, world-changers, have certain characteristics like courage and creativity and a desire for truth.

And today, Lord, let me remember the truth that You came to seek and to save those who were lost. Which is every single one of us.

My hope is in You.

And no one else.

Especially me.

And You are my courage. You are my creativity. You are the Truth. The Way, The Truth and The Life.

Glory.

And every afternoon we list the good gifts of the day and bless His name.

Sing to the LORD and bless His Name; proclaim the good news of His salvation from day to day. Declare His glory among the nations and His wonders among all peoples. Psalm 96:2–3

Wow. There is such a beauty in before-classes and after-classes chapel every single day. The liturgy pounds into my soul the good news of His salvation. The candles are lit, the students are still, and we all rest in His goodness.

And really, the rest of the day is spent with giggling squirming poking dancing yawning thirteen-year-olds from so many nations who spend a lot of time lining up in narrow hallways and marching up and down three flights of stairs as they struggle to absorb this culture of rigorous academic, social and moral instruction, not only memorizing the times tables and figures of speech but also learning how to properly shake hands firmly and with good eye contact and to bless those who curse them.

Jesus taught us, saying: ‘But I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. To anyone who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek as well; to anyone who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for property back from someone who takes it. Treat others as you would like people to treat you.’ Luke 6:27–31

May each of us be listening.

They have fixed the road so the hubcaps don't fly off into the desert.

Be cheerful — no matter what;
pray — all the time;
thank God — no matter what happens.

This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. 1 Thessalonians 5:18

The Word of God refreshes my soul; it is trustworthy; it makes wise the simple; it gives joy to my heart; it gives light to my eyes; it helps me see and deal with my hidden faults and it is more precious than gold and sweeter than honey to my taste. Psalm 19

So Jack spoke this Sunday at Vineyard City Church, and his sermon on the Psalms tied in neatly with Thessalonians that I rode up Sentential Peak with that morning.

The Psalms are expressions of the human heart. The Psalms show and tell us that God loves us and that He wants us to be free and open with Him, and the Psalms are built on the understanding of God revealing Himself to man.

We are to meditate on God’s word: to receive His word, think about it and its true meaning and what does it mean to me. And after that, to wonder, How can I share it?

His sweet presence comforts me in all my troubles; His promise revives me.  I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with My loving eye on you. Psalm 32:8

God is personal, He makes a promise (I WILL), He sees my situation, He gives concrete help (instruction and counsel). This brings comfort and encouragement.

And this morning, there was certainly a theme to the fixed hours liturgy:

Hallelujah! How good it is to sing praises to our God! how pleasant it is to honor Him with praise! Psalm 147:1

It is a good thing to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to your Name, O Most High; To tell of your loving-kindness early in the morning and of your faithfulness in the night season. Psalm 92:1–2

For we are your people and the sheep of your pasture; we will give you thanks for ever and show forth your praise from age to age. Psalm 79:13

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. Psalm 23

This weekend up at the cabin I started up my 1000 gifts list again. As I watched the sunrise seep through those so very reaching upward pines. Scott stretched out in a hammock nearby. A little skunk scuttled back and forth. Everette was sleeping late with momma and daddy inside. 

I shall not want.

And every morning I step into Imago Dei, the tiny Episcopal school for low-income students squeezed between the parking lot and the historical barber shop downtown, and I run up the stairs to get the Trader Joe bag for the phones, run down the stairs to turn on the big toaster and to start pouring juices. After breakfast we line up and walk into the sacred place next door. And give thanks to God. And confess our sins:

Almighty and merciful God,
we have sinned against you,
in thought, word and deed.
We have not loved you with all our heart.
We have not loved others
as our Saviour Christ loves us.
We are truly sorry.
In your mercy forgive what we have been,
help us to amend what we are,
and direct what we shall be;
that we may delight in your will
and walk in your ways,
through Jesus Christ our Saviour. Amen.

I have sinned.

It is a good thing to give thanks to the LORD.

LORD of all creation. Heaven and earth are filled with His praises.

And Alan and I and the little Safari drove Manuel over Gate’s Pass yet again. Just before San Xavier del Bac mission and El Guerro Canelo. The new student from Naples. And he breathed in deeply as the sun did a bright orange red sink through the clouds. And behind all of the darkening prickliness pointed upward. And he whispered, “I have never seen anything so beautiful before.”

                                          photo by Bryan DeJonghe, same night, same place

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases. God’s mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning, new every morning, great is Thy faithfulness.

And maybe Jesus was even laughing as He strode across those thundering waves.

I am bound by the vow I made to you, O God; I will present to you thankofferings; For you have rescued my soul from death and my feet from stumbling, that I may walk before God in the light of the living. Psalm 56:11–12

Those who trust in the LORD are like Mount Zion, which cannot be moved, but stands fast for ever. Psalm 125:1

The ungodly go to and fro in the evening; they snarl like dogs and run about the city. They forage for food, and if they are not filled, they howl. For my part, I will sing of your strength; I will celebrate your love in the morning; For you have become my stronghold, a refuge in my day of trouble. To you, O my Strength, will I sing; for you, O God, are my stronghold and my merciful God. Psalm 59:16–20

You wonder what to do when you feel attacked on all side by seemingly irresistible forces, waves that cover you and want to sweep you off you feet. Sometimes these waves consist of feeling rejected, feeling forgotten, feeling misunderstood. Sometimes they consist of anger or resentment, and sometimes of self-pity or self-rejection. These waves make you feel like a powerless child abandoned by your parents.

What are you to do? Make the conscious choice to move the attention of your anxious heart away from these waves and direct it to the One who walks on them and says, “It’s me. Don’t be afraid.” Keep turning your eyes to Him and go on trusting that He will bring peace to your heart. Look at Him and say, “Lord, have mercy.” Say it again and again, not anxiously but with confidence that He is very close to you and will put your soul to rest. Henri Nouwen, The Inner Voice of Love

I love the story of Jesus walking on the waves. And Peter. And as I peddled up Sentential Peak this morning it was really easy to picture Jesus walking on top of every anxious thought. And in my mind’s eye, he is calm and cheerful and confident and full of love. So let me not be one who shoves God out of my spinning thoughts like a stray hungry and howling dog who is never satisfied. Rather, let me stand fast on the sturdy rock.

Thankofferings it is. This version runs it together as one word. Because as we read in Micah last night, it’s not about the sacrifices of thousands of rams and ten thousands rivers of oil. Rather it is a heart of justice, mercy and humility. And thankofferings.

I have a lot of very unusual names to memorize today in order to welcome my students into a brand new school year. Wow. Here it goes. Starting at 7:15 a.m. when the teachers prepare breakfast for the students.

You are my stronghold and my merciful God. Lord, have mercy.

Rest.