Friday, May 8, 2015

Even now the axe is laid to the root of the tree.

Knit my heart to You. Psalm 88:11

I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt and said, “Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.” Psalm 81:10

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, is the question: What are you afraid of?

“Spiritual discernment is a way of preparing and disposing the soul to rid itself of all inordinate attachments, and, after their removal, of seeking and finding the will of God in the disposition of our life.” -St. Ignatius of Loyola

I hung out with a couple of wise friends of Nicole’s Wednesday and the topic at hand was “inordinate attachments,” and the need to sort through one’s (my) life and rip them out. What has distracted me from My First Love?

And it’s got to be fear. Fear of not doing It right. Fear of what others might think. Pretty brutal, but could it be that I am a man-pleaser rather than a God-pleaser?

And He wants to be the Lover of My Soul. To have my eyes and mind fixed on Him and no other. To have my heart knit to His, seamlessly one.  To have Him be the yearning of my soul and no other. And of course in moments like these, it is hard for me to not turn to my friend, Puddleglum.

But the main thing is He and no other is the LORD my God who has brought me out of slavery through the blood of His only begotten Son, and if I open wide my mouth, He will fill it.

And the ladies had this picture of me running along the beach in the sunshine with the biggest smile ever and my hair flowing out behind me. And, well, the Christy-limited-by-the-material-and-bad-twisty-ankles-seemingly-realistic-me doesn’t really run. But the Christy in my childhood daydreams was a big beautiful horse, with a tossing mane and tail who galloped along the beach towards the horizon with a strong joy.

Disposition. What am I going to do with it?

Take my love, my Lord, I pour
At Thy feet its treasure store.
Take myself and I will be
Ever, only, all for Thee.

Stand back. For even now I am at work.