Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Up and down on my toes.

It is a good thing to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to your Name, O Most High. To tell of your loving-kindness early in the morning and of your faithfulness in the night season; for as it was in the beginning, it is now and it evermore shall be. Alleluia. Psalm 92:1-2; Gloria

I’m thanking you, GOD, from a full heart, I’m writing the book on Your wonders. I’m whistling, laughing, and jumping for joy; I’m singing Your song, High God. Psalm 9:1, The Message
We can only offer forgiveness if we have stood under the constant waterfall of forgiveness ourselves. And only hour-by-hour gratitude is strong enough to overcome all temptations to resentment. Richard Rohr

 Well, it’s a familiar prayer, my Wednesday fixed prayer for myself: May I not lean on my own strength and understanding, but in all my ways I will acknowledge you and have a heart of thanksgiving and be filled with Your wisdom and grace.  And may I live in the joy of the Holy Spirit.

And I have been praying this for a long time, but I cannot say that I am whistling, laughing and jumping for joy, singing His song.

Well, sometimes I jump. Up and down on my toes. A little off-kilter, but jumping.

And Psalm 19 promises many good things to those whose hearts are inclined to the LORD and His statues: wisdom for the innocent, a rejoiced heart, light to the eyes, enlightenment and for me, what I long for most, a revived soul.

But I have a pretty good idea that the laughing and jumping, and well, really whistling? Is a pretty concrete measure of how much serenity has settled down around my soul.

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me.

And I feel like in so many ways I stand before one of those cartoonish swirling signposts, spinning in every direction like a whirling dervish.

But I watched Nicole make her decisions these past few days. I watched her again and again face a choice, pause, quiet and in that stillness ask God which way. Every decision. Like whether she should strap cowboy boots onto her already overloaded backpack. And He said, “Yes.”

And His answers were not always my answers. I lean much more heavily on the Keep it Simple Stupid mantra. But we already know His ways are not my ways.

Let go and let God.

In all times of emotional disturbance or indecision, we can pause, ask for quiet, and in the stillness simply say: 'God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.'"  - AA

Incline my heart, O God, to your ways.