May I be returning home with more than a half-empty suitcase

Pero Jesús no se lo permitió, sino que le dijo: Vete a tu casa, a los tuyos, y cuéntales cuán grandes cosas el Señor ha hecho por ti, y cómo tuvo misericordia de ti. Marcos 5,19

And  Jesus did not permit him (to travel on with Him) but said, “Go home to your friends and family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how He has had mercy on you.” Mark 5:19

And this is where the rubber meets the road.

And as I made my way, slowly, very slowly, with three and three and six-hour flight delays, back to my loved ones, I could feel the cultural trappings start to settle in around me, like a well-worn and comfortable sweatshirt.

But since I actually did not have a sweatshirt, I was very grateful to face all of that air conditioning with the black sweater that Nicole had nabbed from Marco's Vintage Shop, which provides rent and food payments for those who need help, as well as stacks of free clothes from the donations that are not vintage, but merely "old."

And not withstanding my St Francis resolves, my listening shifted slowly into chatting, and my eye contact glanced away more frequently, and my vocabulary became less precise. And I checked my email a lot more frequently.

And I imagine on lots of levels it would be easier for the demonic who lived in the caves to move on and not return to the same commitments and relationships and challenges, but Jesus sent him back. And the challenge is to faithfully and humbly proclaim His great works and his great mercy.

For instance, this morning I woke up thinking, or was it dreaming, about my homeroom class at Desert, and how I am to change the systems and routines to disciple these students into being more like Jesus. Because I have been told to make disciples, and now I have a deeper understanding of that commandment and more urgency in my heart. May I not be complacent with the peace that the world gives, but may I be about His business, both to restoration and to honor and glorify His name.

And last night, I was flipping through the photos with Jenny and Tim, a very gracious audience by the way, just before they served me homemade lamb gyros, and suddenly I remembered the guy with the tuxedo and the guy with the red shirt and the guy starting a restaurant on our last walk through Istanbul. And suddenly I remembered the palpable presence of God, yearning to tell each of these men that He so loved them. And I have also been commanded to heal the sick and bind up the broken-hearted and loose the captives, whatever that looks like, it is my business, or rather His business to find out.

And there is sure a lot that I don't know or understand. For instance, the demon-possessed man saw Jesus from afar and ran and worshipped Him. And Jesus at once had mercy on Legion, and did not torment him, and did not cast him out of the country.

But it is not my job to know or understand, but simply to obey that soft, yet steady voice that I am learning to recognize.

I reread the Christianity Today article about how to be a peaceful leader, and was struck again by this quote: Peaceful leaders offer a fresh view of Jesus because he is embedded in their character.

May they say, "She has been with Jesus."

And he went away and began to proclaim in the Decapolis how much Jesus had done for him, and everyone marveled.

For he had been with Jesus.

I betcha that crazy man felt pretty stuck without much hope

“Go home to your own people,” He told him, “And tell them what the Lord has done for you, and how kind He has been to you!” Mark 5:19

The little made-up title to this story, according to Biblegateway, is “Jesus restores a demon-possessed man.” Last night’s midnight meditation by Weston Baker was also about restoration, or, rather the Ephesians 7:10 redemption: It is through the Son, at the cost of his own blood, that we are redeemed, freely forgiven through that full and generous grace which has overflowed into our lives and opened our eyes to the truth. For God had allowed us to know the secret of His plan, and it is this: He purposes in His sovereign will that all human history shall be consummated in Christ, that everything that exists in Heaven or earth shall find its perfection and fulfillment in Him.

And sometimes my thoughts are not so much about the kindness of God. It is pretty easy for my thoughts to drift to the aching, unfulfilled hopes and the smashedness of the fall, the rattling around in the tombs with broken shackles part. But that isn’t the end of the story.

And we are to be about the good news, the freely forgiven and full and generous grace denouement, unraveling after the climax. The violent darkness shouts at us all day long, and no one needs to be reminded of it. And each of us can get stuck there and lose heart.

Yesterday morning NPR had a story about some evangelists who “love sports and love God,” so this is their fourth or fifth Olympics that they have gone to share their version of Black as sin, Red as blood, White as snow and, well, Gold as in streets of gold. And the lady was getting a little bogged down, “..and when we die and go to heaven, there will be streets of gold…isn’t that great?  How do you feel about streets of gold?” The woman with the heavy Russian accent seemed more concerned about some darkness that she was facing right now in life, but the evangelist kept going back to the streets of gold.

And I sure don’t understand everything about this secret plan of God, but I sure don’t think it has much to do about streets paved with god.  Or even about that tree with different fruits every season. And this red blood is really about redeeming the brokenness. And His kindness right now. He Who heals the brokenhearted and binds their wounds. Who proclaims freedom for the captives and release from darkness. And Jesus rolled up the parchment and said, Today this scripture is fulfilled in your hearing.”

So today, let me be about speaking the truth, the very measurable and beautiful kindness of God which has overflowed into my life, the consummation of everything that exists in Heaven and earth shall find its perfection and fulfillment in Him.