A path that stretches before us like no other path.

Preserve my life from fear. Psalm 64:1

The existence of the Church bears witness to the belief that there is only one thing you can say to such a view and that is that it is wrong. There is only one answer you can give to terrible sanity, that this material cosmos is all that there ever will be, and that is that it is ultimately insane. The ancient myths and dreams of a power beyond power and love beyond love that hold the cosmos itself, hold all things, in existence reflect a reality which we can deny only to our great impoverishment, and the dream a holiness and mystery at the heart of things that humankind with all its ingenuity and wisdom can neither explain away nor live fully without goes on being dreamed. Moments continue to go up in flames like the bush in Midian to illumine, if only for a moment, a path that stretches before us like no other path. And such moments call out in a voice which, if we only had courage and heart enough, we would follow to the end of time. -Frederick Buechner

Following Jesus will mean surrendering the power that masquerades as security in order to love the neighbor and welcome the stranger. It will mean avoiding the safe path in order to pursue the good. But in a culture of fear, we find such risks all the more difficult since our natural inclinations lead us to close in on ourselves when we face danger. How can we maintain the posture of the open hand toward a world that scares us? – Scott Bader

You alone secure us in our place, O Lord, in our going out and coming in, deliver us from fear, that we may, by your Spirit’s power, let down our defenses in love. Amen

May the peace of the Lord Christ go with you : wherever He may send you;

May He guide you through the wilderness : protect you through the storm:

May He bring you home rejoicing : at the wonders He has shown you:

May He bring you home rejoicing : once again into our doors.

Mom and I are up at the cabin once again watching the sun rise up over the Catalinas.

O Lord, let my soul rise up to meet You as the day rises to meet the sun.

The wind is rustling through the pine trees.

Speak Holy Spirit, your servant is listening.

 

Fear. Facebook reminded me today about Fear. There is a scary shot of the mountain Nicole and I had to go up and over before tapas and wine and bed that night. And I sure can remember the gut-wrenching Fear as I stared up, up, upward. And yet I also so remember the moment when I chose to roll past the terror into breathtaking glory.

The Church.

Mom and I are crazy church-hoppers.

For four hours Saturday we joined with Vineyard City and not-so-very-carefully counted out poblano chiles after first running rather grimy and sticky fingers over them for squishy spots to hundreds of people who formed a long line in the hot sun that reached around the corner, out of sight. And the Church laughed and hugged and drank bottle after bottle of warm water and we still felt dizzy and weak-kneed but it was okay, because we were together. Along with a truckload of very ripe produce.

And yesterday morning I buried myself into the embrace of Joann at Price Chapel African American Methodist Episcopal Church and we walked up the steps to the big brown double doors arm-in-arm. And she handed the Bible over to me and asked me to lead the adult Bible study again, reading about Mr. Gideon and the call on his small life by the Mighty God while he hid full of fear by the winepress beating out his wheat, even though I have missed the past two weeks and I was leaving early. And my brothers and sisters still want to welcome me into full membership of the body on the Sunday before I get on that plane, as I drop my nets and follow Him to the other side of the world, which is a big deal. And the Church will lay hands on me and pray for me, not so much for my safety and that He will bring me home rejoicing once again into these doors, but mostly that I might be full of His light as I love my neighbor and welcome the stranger.

And then I drove over and picked up Wen Xie, my International Friend.  Seven arrived at the University of Arizona in January to study architecture, but she has already gotten herself into a hard place, she got herself pregnant. And even though the terrible sanity of the world would scream “abortion” or at least “adoption” something in her soul whispered that this would be cruel, so I have been walking alongside her up this very steep climb. And I am leaving. And she asked if I went to church, and I had to smile a bit as I asked her if she wanted to come with me, and when she said yes, I knew I had to take her to Vineyard Christian Community. The Church who greeted her with great intentionality and warmth and the worship was glorious with the truth clearly declared on the wall even though the sermon was way over her vocabulary, and she was very happy to hear of a power beyond power and love beyond love that the grave could not hold.

And tonight the ladies from Northminster Presbyterian are going to gather together at my momma’s one more time before summer and read aloud yet another chapter of The Broken Way, the only way to love an aching world. And we will consider mystery at the heart of things that humankind with all its ingenuity and wisdom can neither explain away nor live fully. And we will lift each other up in prayer, praying for strength and courage as we journey through complications and pain and the doubts that besiege each of us. And I know that this Church is faithful and that I am held in each heart as each is held in mine, and this is how we maintain the posture of an open hand, to be like His hand, pierced and outstretched.

And wow, every day I get to join the Church, two or three gathered togetherness of Him being in our midst as a dearly beloved friend, one after another, holds hands and enters into His presence with me. And I can see the Spirit connecting each of us, like the roots of a creosote bush reaching outward through the centuries and over the seas and even across the cultures and languages; we all have the same Spirit guiding us with His presence. Connected like Facebook but oh so much more true.

Just up the hill from the tiny cabin is the secret Indian cave. That is shared by everyone.  Everyone on the mountain, under twelve-years-old, that is, goes to the secret cave to hide in its sweet darkness.

And we all think that our quiet hiding heart place is ours alone, but no, He is there, waiting gentle and gracious, He and His Church, His peacebearers. We are all there.

 May this peace go with me, as I leave the flickering shadowed greens and head into the blistering heat of life.

Selah.

94. For people who would think of making goat toenails into a musical instrument

Blessed be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love; the fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above. Before our Father’s throne we pour our ardent prayers; our fears, our hopes, our aims are one, our comforts and our cares. We share each other’s woes, our mutual burdens bear; and often for each other flows the sympathizing tear. When we asunder part, it gives us inward pain; but we shall still be joined in heart, and hope to meet again.

I will fulfill my vows to the LORD in the presence of all His people. Psalm 116:16

So as I was straightening up my brand new MacBook Air computer desktop this morning, I clicked on that old neglected Eucharisteo list…the one that I started typing after rereading the story of Jesus and the ten lepers, when only one turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving Him thanks…and he was a Samaritan. And it’s kind of amazing. No, absolutely, unconditionally really amazing.  And some of it is about creation or stuff, such as 10. For the St. Francis fountain and the sweet reminder of water, one of Your greatest gifts or 25. For dictionaries and words, their power and beauty that touches our soul or 156. For big bunches of flowers from our yard and the alley on the dining room table, but most of them are for people, the people who have shared each other’s woes, the people who our mutual burdens bear, the people whose hearts are bound in Christian love, the fellowship of kindred minds.

119. That Nicole encourages people to try new things that take them out of their pre-misconceptions of their selves… like me and swimming and Fred in running

105. That Alan is an amazing teacher who puts in all of the necessary prep work to teach and inspire students and to let them know they are important and what they are doing, learning is important

27. That Frederic is listening to Your Love Never Fails right this moment and I can know it because of Spotify and all that You have done and are doing in his life

71. For Lex Wilcox and how he didn’t give up but allowed his pain to produce fruit in many pained lives, to allow You to create beauty from ashes

92. For the beautiful black and white tablecloth and the keen eye of Alene for beauty

257. For Dustin who will crawl under a trailer and weld a gas line during the week and then build a kitchen for a friend on his day off

298. For Janelle who is so sweet and wise with a little boy frightened of Pippen

317. For Randy Reynolds being faithful through the valley of the shadow of death

177. For Zach with his crooked smile and idealism that will mature into a tree planted deep by the streams of life

355. For Jincheng’s broad smile as he tries to follow my how-to-live-better instructions. 

360. For the haunting passion of Ryan Coykendall when he leads worship; who woulda thunk?

267. For quotes by G. K.Chesterton:  "Jesus promised his disciples three things—that they would be completely fearless, absurdly happy, and in constant trouble."

264. For You at work in far away places, and I want to especially thank you for an unknown but faithful pastor of the immigrant church in Lugo

209. For the patience of Heather the gardener who did not give up but who kept at it and a supportive husband who kept digging holes until the yard was beautiful

397. For Jack and Mary Anne being there every day to hear the ups and downs and rejoice

190. For Jerry Bowen who tries to do the right thing even though the road is long

80. For Cameron and his journey and his persistence to understand and weigh life and his gift to put it into lyrics and music that haunts

250. For fiddle players in the Ben’s Bells booth

And the thing about this list is that it is just a tiny, very sporadic snapshot of God’s great goodness as lived out by His Church. And there are literally hundreds of names and unnamed: Wise Dre, Beautiful Pamela, and Faithful Momma and Faithful Sue to Full-of-Life Italians, Kind Store Clerks, and A Gentle Nun to yes, even Wry Igor who visited us from the pit of hell. And it is so easy for me to get my knickers twisted out of shape by unmade phone calls or What We Believe statements that are far too long and far too exclusionary for a Simple But What Is Sin-shattering community breaking of bread and that is not at all about the Church and what really is True.

God’s complex wisdom is being worked out in the Church, that God purposes in His sovereign will that all human history shall be consummated in Christ, that everything that exists in Heaven or earth shall find its perfection and fulfillment in Him.

The Weight of Glory.

And I have made some vows of in Whom my hope is placed in His presence and in the presence of His people. And He is faithful and just and we will walk through this messy workmanship fulfillment process together, with His Spirit that binds us together.

We with a capital letter.

checking the red blinking alarm clock one last time

Why are you so full of heaviness, O my soul? and why are you so disquieted within me? Put your trust in God; for I will yet give thanks to Him, who is the help of my countenance, and my God. Psalm 42:14-15

Night comes with all its darkling fears, Regard your people’s prayers and tears. Lest, sunk in sin and numbed with strife, We lose the gift of endless life; Or while thinking but the thoughts of time We weave new chains of woe and crime. Hear our prayer, our mighty king! Hear our praises too, we sing, Adoring with all heaven’s host The Father, Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.

Lord of all power and might, the author and giver of all good things: Graft in my heart the love of your Name; increase in me true religion; nourish me with all goodness; and bring forth in me the fruit of good works; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen

I imagine that some good comes out of the sifting through the day that happens at night. Possibly. Mostly it feels like the accuser and his shaking finger. Did any good come out of this day, or was it all just tossing seed into the dry desert wind?

For one resolved to step a free and easy stride into Do Would Jesus Did, I am quite capable of weaving new chains of woe thinking the thoughts of time. Where did all the moments, days, weeks, years go, and how did I end up here? 

But the story that Robbie Dawkins tells is of a God who is simply looking for people who are available; the power is His.  And the answer he has to the question What is the Church? is this: not to be perfect or better than our neighbors. It means that the good news of God’s love actually lives inside us and is available to build up, restore, heal, and transform the world around us. This is the treasure–the hidden pearl of great price that we seek before anything else.

In truth God has heard me; He has attended to the voice of my prayer. Psalm 66:17

For Jonah, spewing meant a new beginning

‘These are the words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation: I know what you have done, and that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish that you were either cold or hot! but since you are lukewarm and neither hot nor cold, I intend to spit you out of my mouth! While you say, ‘I am rich, I have prospered, and there is nothing that I need’, you have no eyes to see that you are wretched, pitiable, poverty-stricken, blind and naked. My advice to you is to buy from me that gold which is purified in the furnace so that you may be rich, and white garments to wear so that you may hide the shame of your nakedness, and salve to put on your eyes to make you see. All those whom I love I correct and discipline. Therefore, shake off your complacency and repent. Revelation 3:14-20

So for some reason Fred is bringing down his middle school kids on a field trip to Heather and Dustin’s house and have them explain what it means to minister to the poor.  And although Heather and Dustin live across from the Primavera homeless outreach and just down the block from Without Borders, it’s really not about passing out donuts and gospels of John at the neighborhood park. And it’s not about inviting people to church to hear a sermon and go forward for prayer, although these are not bad things. They are just not the thing. These are activities for a to do list. So then we can move onto the next item on the list, like write some thank you notes to those amazing family members in California or I really need to clean out the cupboard next to the ironing board. Which are also not bad things.

And oh yes, I am rich and have nothing that I need. I mean, I ate brunch at the Pebble Beach Golf Course Beach House yesterday. Pretty spiffy.  And next week I am going to be on a team of clever dedicated educators accrediting an amazing school surrounded by snow-capped Rocky Mountains. And the next week I am going to be sleeping in the dirt with 800 happy teenagers and playing “Pato, Pato, Pavo” with cute neighborhood kids and sipping coconuts under a palm tree. Pretty easy to slide into complacency.

And because I am pretty tired and late for school… I am going to cheat and share from Heather, because these are the words that I am going to take into my day, my very full day.

God is SO much bigger than these trite little phrases and cute little boxes. God is so much more REAL.  I think as Dustin and I searched and explored, we began to realize that there is no divide between the sacred and the secular, between “Christian” life and just plain everyday life. Because the Holy Spirit is in us, every activity is sacred and a spiritual act of worship. I don’t want to sound wishy-washy...because actually, living out church every day, day-in, day-out requires careful listening to where the Holy Spirit is moving...it requires faithful responsiveness and attentiveness to His voice. But with that, small interactions become meaningful.  

For example...Dustin was hanging out with little mighty mouse the other day when he noticed that our neighbor to the south of us was back in town after being gone for a month or so.  He felt a little micro nudging in her direction and so he just went over and knocked on her door.  As it turns out, her son had just passed away from cancer.  She lives alone here in Tucson and didn’t really have anyone to talk to.  Dustin meant to just stop by and say, “welcome back,” but instead it turned into an hour and a half visit where he could just be present with her and hear her story- helping her to feel known and loved.  

Isn’t that the gospel?  The good news.  That God knows us and loves.  I think as Christians, our number one job is to extend out that love towards others.  One of Dustin and my life-verses is John 13:34- A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another. We don’t particularly have all the answers, we are still desperately wrestling with “What does it mean to live a life pursuing Christ,” but I do think that over and over Jesus reminds us that it really boils down to love.  By loving well, people like Sloane experience Jesus.  

Repent. See with fresh eyes. Smear your salve, Lord Jesus, with whatever it takes. Amen.

Marching around the walls of Jericho

If any of you is in trouble let him pray. If anyone is flourishing let him sing praises to God.

If anyone is ill he should send for the Church elders. They should pray over him, anointing him with oil in the Lord’s name. Believing prayer will save the sick man; the Lord will restore him and any sins that he has committed will be forgiven. You should get into the habit of admitting your sins to each other, and praying for each other, so that if sickness comes to you, you may be healed.

Tremendous power is made available through a good man’s earnest prayer. Do you remember Elijah? He was a man like us but he prayed earnestly that it should not rain. In fact, not a drop fell on the land for three and a half years. Then he prayed again, the heavens gave the rain and the earth sprouted with vegetation as usual. James 5:13-18

The thing is about James is his straightforward practicality. And yet, how so often Christians don’t live by what he says.  So often I don’t live by what he says. We are indeed so quick to turn to Him in prayer when problems hit; the corresponding action is praise during the flourishing moments; All good gifts come from Him, the Father of Lights.

A big gift and unifying thread throughout James is that of Christian community. A place to confess sins, to share troubles, to give praise to God, and to pray for one another. And tremendous power is made available here. Certainly I will always remember Cindy’s, “Have you asked the elders to anoint Heather with oil and prayer,” and she was healed. And the Church is where we come to an end of ourselves. The end of I can do it on my own. Well, me and Jesus. It is home instead to mutual submission, mutual humility, mutual equality, mutual mercy, with no judging and tearing each other apart.

And just now there is a sense of expectancy. Aslan is on the move, and together, We the Church are looking expectantly upward to the heavens; let the rain fall down.