Beyond the world of smooshed, half-eaten eegee subs.

"Come unto me," Jesus said, "all you who are weary and find life burdensome, and I will refresh you. Take my yoke upon your shoulders and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble of heart. Your soul will find rest, for My yoke is easy, and my burden light." Matthew 11:29-30

Here the deeper meaning of prayer becomes manifest to pray is to unite ourselves with Jesus and lift up the whole world through Him to go in, cry for forgiveness, reconciliation, healing and mercy. To pray, therefore, is to connect whatever human struggle or pain we encounter - whether starvation, torture, displacement of peoples, or any form of physical and mental anguish - with the . gentle and humble heart of Jesus

Prayer is leading every sorrow to the source of all healing; it is letting the warmth of Jesus' love melt the cold anger of resentment; it is opening a space where joy replaces sadness, mercy supplant bitterness, love displaces fear, gentleness and care overcomes hatred and indifference. But most of all, prayer is the way to become and remain part of Jesus' mission to draw all people to the intimacy of God's love. Henri Nouwen, "Prayer Embraces the World"

Freedom. Joy. Love. Vocation.

So pretty early this morning I met with Jack and Mary Anne on their back porch and they prayed for me.

Prayer is leading every sorrow to the source of all healing 

And a year ago before I even had a tiniest clue as to what El Camino was all about, and I was just planning on taking a little sip to get a clue of what this year's promised trip would be like, Marco said to me, "Christy, everyone does El Camino for a reason. Why are you going?" I paused. And paused some more. And the answer that came out from deep within was, "I want God to heal my broken heart."

And Mary Anne said that this was the year of Cracking the Coconut Shell surrounding my heart, breaking it all open to His light. And this morning she prayed for freedom, joy, love, and a clear sense of His calling.

So Mr. Gentle And Humble Brandon and I found ourselves in a pretty stunned silence as we clicked on our seat belts. Beyond just our low grade panic of watching our packed bike boxes roll out of sight. Pretty crazy stuff. But really what could be better? Throwing ourselves into His mercy, totally and completely. To slip on His yoke and head down the path ahead.

And LAX was filled with the human struggle, in each and every face, and each and every hand clasping a rolling carry-on or hefting a thoroughly taped cardboard box or flipping nervously through an iPhone. And we sat next to the very hip Cuban guy with orange pants who grew up in Miami but is now a voiceover actor in Los Angeles and he talked about his grandfather who wrote one of the drafts of the UN's Bill of Human Rights. Which Gustavo found ironic considering his grandfather was a Cuban with no human rights. And I wept through the final snippets of the movie Still Alice as I watched the actress ask my dad's confused question, "I used to be smart, didn't I?" And then we all told some miracle stories. May God be glorified.

Brandon and I finished what was left of his subway sandwich because I kinda forgot to bring trail mix, carrot sticks and granola bars, so I am drinking lots of Mott's 100% tomato juice which is almost like eating something, and if we can make it to Miami, British Airways promises an unending flight of food to London. Which is a lot better than an unending and relentlessly mindless tastes of pop culture as captured by NBC television on our back-of-the-seat-screens. I am discovering that food is going to a big theme when one travels with two sixteen-year-old boys, even before the bicycle factor.

Which should be vivid imagery for those hungering and thirsting metaphors.

Yes, Lord Jesus, I come unto Thee. Hungry and thirsty. For freedom from indifference, joy rather than sadness, and Your loving presence which casts out all fear. And, Lord, may my yearning be to be one with You, united into Your mission to draw all peoples into the intimacy of Your love, because Your cross has torn down the thick stifling curtain which separated us all from You.

Selah.

Now I feel the sacred flame

21 de septiembre, 2014

An invitation to come and rest. Two weeks ago Cameron sent me this invitation, and it has been whispering in my ear, an invitation.

Be at rest, my soul,
O blessed secret of the true life that glorifies the Lord:
Not always does the busiest soul best serve him, but he that rests upon his faithful word.
Be at rest, let not your heart be rippled,
For tiny wavelets mar the image fair,
Which the still pool reflects of heaven's glory-and this the image he would have you bear.
Be at rest, my soul, for rest is service,
To the still heart God does his secrets tell...
For God is rest, and where he dwells is stillness,
And they who dwell in Him, His rest will share.
And what will meet the deep unrest around you,
But the calm peace of God that filled his breast?
For still a living Voice calls to the weary,
From Him who said, "come unto me and rest."

As I begin Invitations, a path of spiritual formation built on Ignatius’ Exercises, there is a warning by the author Brian Rice. I use the word invitation to this volume of Exercises, for God does invite us to freely choose what He holds to to us. Still, the word invitation may be too “weak” of a word, for God’s invitations often come as summons. A summons has more “weight” and “substance” than an invitation. A summons has the sense of “one dare not refuse to answer” the summons. Perhaps we should understand it this way. God first gives us an invitation. If we resist His invitations, the persistent, sovereign God reissues the invitation to us as a summons that has greater urgency. If we continue to resist His summons, we may soon discover that the summons is now a command that has the promise of blessing and the warning of unwanted consequences should the command be ignored.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Mercy. Mercy looks a lot like a sunlit jungle garden with treetop birds calling back and forth to each other, and Spanish love songs playing dimly in the background. Was it only four days ago that I lay on the bedroom floor sobbing my heart out without hope?

Coming to an end of self.

Spiritual exercises which have as their purpose the conquest of self. Man is created to praise, reverence, and serve God our LORD. Consequently, as far as we are concerned, we should not prefer health to sickness, riches to poverty, honor to dishonor, a long life to a short life. The same holds for all other things. -Ignatius

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

What I desire: To have a “largeness of heart” toward my Lord God. To have a strong readiness and wide-openness toward Christ and His purposes.

Prayer: Take Lord, and receive all my liberty, my memory, my understanding, and my entire will, all that I have and possess. Thou hast given all to me. To Thee, O Lord, I return it. All is Thine, dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. Give me Thy love and Thy grace, for this is sufficient for me.

My liberty. My memory. Memories. My understanding. My entire will. Take Lord, I return them. All is Thine. Dispose of it wholly according to Thy will. A wide-openness toward Christ and His purposes: That God will do all that He has promised.

This is a disposition of the heart that has enormous trust toward God, strong hope and faith in God and which is willing to make a deep surrender to God.

Oh, the depths of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!

How unsearchable His judgments and His paths beyond tracing out!

Who has known the mind of the Lord?

Or who has been His counselor?

Who has ever given to God, that God should repay him?

For from Him and through Him and in Him are all things.

To Him be the glory forever! Amen. Romans 11:33-36

My smart little google brain knows where I am, and all of my searching brings up Spanish.

How unsearchable His judgments, and His paths beyond tracing out. Who could have imagined the path begun in the dusty play of Ejido Cuernavaca tracing to this quiet spot in Antigua, Guatemala? And yet. And yet. From the beginning of time, by which He is not bound.

Stand back.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

Most of all I am struck by the tremendous mercy of God, reaching into my sinful soul, and ripping out self. What mercy, what grace to be saved from oneself.

All to Jesus I surrender

All to Him I freely give

I will ever love and trust Him

And in His presence I will live

I surrender all, I surrender all.