Looking a gift horse in the mouth reveals bad breath and yellow teeth and is not so smart

but these men lie in wait for their own blood;
    they set an ambush for their own lives.
Such are the ways of everyone who is greedy for unjust gain;
    it takes away the life of its possessors. Proverbs 1:18-19

Life-sucking.  And really I don’t think the Psalmist is just talking about folks hiding behind bushes, poised to leap onto top of and take down some wandering widows and orphans and sojourners.  I think this addresses the me who gets distracted from what I believe. 

So, having pushed the magic button yesterday, the May 26/27: Tucson>Dallas> Chicago> Berlin>Munich>Istanbul; June 24: Bologna> London; June 25: London> Philadelphia>Denver June 29: Denver>Tucson button, I thought to myself that I better start strolling around Reid Park like for the next twenty-one days wearing pretty sturdy boots just to kind of pretend that I am not going to die a thousand deaths on El Camino de Santiago.

There I was happily wandering among the creosote and soaring eagles and leftover fresh night air and scurrying quail, every now and then reminding myself to step out of a wander and into a purposeful stride, when my thoughts drifted into a ten-bullet suggestion list for American Airlines to improve their woefully inadequate customer service. I mean, I was on the phone twelve or fifteen times, around and around and then at last two and almost half hours yesterday during both my lunch and planning period and then got charged thirty-five dollars twice for sitting on their stupid phone during normal work hours instead of buying tickets online even though everyone kept saying the problem was their tech system and… ah, yes.

Pause. Breathe. Believe.

Losing my life. That it may be found.

The seed dying in order that it may bring forth a harvest, ten-fold, thirty-fold, even a hundred-fold.

Ah yes, dear Jim Elliot: He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.

Ah yes, dear Lewis: Give me all of you. I don’t want so much of your time, so much of your talents and money, and so much of your work. I want you. All of you. I have not come to torment or frustrate the natural man or woman, but to kill it. No half measures will do. I don’t want to only prune a branch here and a branch there; rather I want the whole tree out. Hand it over to me, the whole outfit, all of your desires, all of your wants and wishes and dreams. Turn them all over to me, give yourself to me and I will make of you a new self---in my image. Give me yourself and in exchange I will give you Myself. My will, shall become your will. My heart, shall become your heart.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge. His will. His heart.

Dear LORD may I not settle for being a fool.

Even if the strides are a little too long

...who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity... Psalm 24:4 

There are so many distracting baubles in our world.  That simply are of no lasting value.  Mere soap bubbles caught in the breeze. And while it is all good to enjoy the beauty and warmth and unique preciseness dangling about my head, let me not lift up my soul to them, allowing them to chomp at the roots of my joy, my peace and my most of all my love, which are from the Spirit.  

My heart echoed “Amen, brother, amen” at Saturday’s wedding, as we listened to two friends publicly affirm their value statement.  Colossians 3 says to Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. And rather than let the glitter and the beeping and the approval of the world worm its way into my heart, rather I shall chose, again and again, as God’s beloved child, to put on His compassion, kindness, humility, quiet strength, discipline. To be even-tempered, content with second place, and quick to forgive an offense. Forgive as quickly and completely as the Master forgave you. And regardless of what else you put on, wear love.

And maybe some of this is the sort of dressing up that my sister and I did when we were little, wanting to be big and beautiful like our momma, we would swirl around in the long living room curtains, swish, swish, oh so lovely.  I am certainly in process. But it’s all about choosing the footprints that I will follow. Even if the strides are a little too long.

The earth is the LORD's, and the fulness thereof; the work of His hands.  And it is good.  But let me choose wisely, the better way.  He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.