Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Hungry I come to You

“Have faith in God,” replied Jesus to them. “I tell you that if anyone should say to this hill, ‘Get up and throw yourself into the sea’, and without any doubt in his heart believe that what he says will happen, then it will happen! That is why I tell you, whatever you pray about and ask for, believe that you have received it and it will be yours. And whenever you stand praying, you must forgive anything that you are holding against anyone else, and your Heavenly Father will forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:22-26

Sigh. Somehow these verses are always a little discouraging to me, something I would rather just skip over. When of course, it seems like this particular declarative statement should be a huge hope and happiness moment. Because yes, sometimes the hills hop into the sea. And yet. Sometimes they don’t. And rather it being about Him, my thinking slides into me, and am I saying or thinking the right words? Enough times? Long enough? And my thoughts start spinning about doubt in my heart, or timing, or fasting, or acting on it being received or… and the hope and happiness thing evaporates.

And it was not yet time for figs anyway. What’s with that?

But actually I hadn’t ever particularly noticed the close proximity of the forgiveness item. As in connected with a coordinating conjunction close. And. And whenever (yes, every time) you stand praying you must forgive anything (yes, anything) that you are holding against anyone (yes, anyone) else. And (then) the Heavenly Father will forgive you. Me. With the same mercy I offer to others, it will be shown.

And well, this is much more important than moving mountains. Really.

And maybe that is the believe statement here. We don’t live out our faith by making mountains move, rather, it is more about living out release. If indeed I believe in a God of mercy and forgiveness and wisdom and justice and glory and restoration then indeed forgiveness takes on a whole new light. His love. It’s all about Him and not about me. Once again.

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. The Message

And just sort of thinking and remembering the leaves that I have seen shrivel at a single word, my eyes were never on the fig tree. Or the hill. Really the prayers just seemed to well up out of me from within, the Spirit Himself pleading in yearnings that can find no words.