And while we pray, we look up at the rain clouds heaped over the Catalinas.

Call to Worship The Lord works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed. The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does He remove our transgressions from us. As a father shows compassion to His children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear Him. Psalm 103:6-13

Contemplation Our failure to lament cuts us off from the heart of Jesus, Man of Sorrow, and it also cuts us off from each other. If we are to love one another as Jesus commanded, we must learn to “weep with those who weep.”

The way of Christian fellowship is empathy, which means we must not assume that everyone around us is “fine.” In our conversations, we must listen for complaints and cries and help them become laments. In our gathered worship, we must acknowledge the hurting and leave room for struggle and silence. In our counsel, we must pray with and over and for the hurting. This is essential to authentic Christian faith: We are to bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

So yesterday, like so many Thursdays before, I met with Sue. And we often just walk around in circles, sometimes up and down the wash, and now, mostly around cracked and weedy parking lots. I have learned a lot from Sue over the years. Sue is a prayer warrior, the sort that hefts a massive Sword of Truth, yet wields it with mercy and grace. And when we pray together, the Spirit within her sometimes struggles in silence, because He knows the backstory, the heart and soul of the hurting for whom we are praying.

And today, I yearn to set it aside for this tenderness. Solomon said, “The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning.” Yet. Yet sometimes I rush into places of aching with fistfuls of band-aides and token casseroles and loaves of bread. Job’s friends sat in silence and waited. May I join them in waiting and trusting.

The People of the Cross prayer for today includes, By Grace, today I will fast from independent thinking & acting. Today I will come to You before I do anything at all because waiting on You is the best of all. We repent of coming to You only when we think there’s nothing else we can do, of coming to You like You are our last hope–instead of coming to You first, because You are our first love.

Prayer Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise Him, my salvation and my God.

He is our salvation; in Him will I trust.

And I might have nicked my knuckles a few times too

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him;

The steadfast love of the Lord is

    from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him.

Bless the Lord, all His works,
    in all places of His dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul! Psalm 103

So the night before last Yucheng cooked this masterpiece meal of pork belly. And it was really quite amazing to see the ingredients slide into the pot after our extended visit to the Oriental market at Prince and Stone. He started with a half a pound of butter and a cup of canola oil in which he sautéed star anise, cinnamon sticks and dried chile peppers. Then he swirled in a pound of brown sugar until it melted into one smoothness. Then five pounds of pork belly that I helped chop into one-inch slabs. And the whole thing stewed for several hours until it was time to add three bottles of beer and simmer it once again until the very last hour, when he added a pound of mushroom and half a pound of fried tofu and added both the soy sauce for flavor and the soy sauce for color and white pepper which is quite different than black pepper and just enough salt.  All this was served over white rice from Alan’s Korean rice bowls, and the whole thing was pretty amazing although probably not something to eat every day.

But man, all of this savoryness left a mess of a pot. There was a solid three inches of crud stuck on the bottom. And I scraped and dug and chopped for what seemed like forever. And simmered it again with water trying to soften some of the gunk. And then John suggested alcohol or acetone to eat away some of the sugar, so I figured if fingernail polish remover could work on it a bit in some inexplicable chemical way.

But really it came down steadfastness. I really wanted to just ditch the pan into the green dumpster and go pick up something else at Goodwill. But I finally got down to the where the metal scrubber pad and Ajax sorta did some good and I went around and around and around, and now, well it is good to go, with just a few more dents and scratches than before, but perfectly serviceable and even shiny.

And my God is steadfast. Even through my stuck-on gunk. And Psalm 103 reminds me over and over again of how this steadfast love never ceases. His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.

Bless the LORD, oh my soul.

And he sang a little song to calm his child's heart

The Lord God, holy, compassionate and worthy of praise.

Praise the Lord, I tell myself

            Rather than listen to The Accuser

With my whole heart

            I hate a divided heart

Never forget the good things He does for me

            Eucharist always precedes the miracle

He forgives all of my sins

            Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner.

He surrounds me with love and tender mercies

            …and Manual picked me up at the Shell station in the pouring rain

He fills my life with good things

            Bright pink daises in an elegant vase

My youth is renewed like an eagle’s

            “Your incredible joy and enthusiasm are infectious”

The LORD gives righteousness and justice to all who are treated unfairly

            I have seen your pain

The LORD is merciful and gracious;

            Let me be like Him

He is slow to get angry and is full of unfailing love.

            “This is how much I love you,” and He stretched forth His arms

He will not constantly accuse us, nor remain angry forever

            Let me be like Him

His unfailing love is as great as the height of the heavens

            And the green volcanoes that push through the clouds

The LORD is a father for His children

            And I have spent all day with Manual and six-month Emiliano

Tender and compassionate

            Siempre atento a sus necesidades

He understands how weak we are

            Con paciencia hasta que cuando grite

Our days on the earth are like grass, the wind blows and we are gone

            I am reminded of this walking through ancient streets

But the love of the LORD remains forever

            Not even earthquakes can shake loose His love

His salvation extends to the children’s children

            I claim this for sweet tousle curled Everette

The LORD rules over everything

            And in Him I can trust

Praise the LORD, you angels who carry out His plans

            Angels disguised as gentle Mayans

Praise the LORD, everything He created,

            Especially each and every soul in these crowded streets

As for me–I too will praise the LORD.

As for me–I too will praise the LORD.   -Psalm 103

And in case you did not hear Me the first time

Porque como están de altos los cielos sobre la tierra,
así es de grande su misericordia para los que le temen^.
Como está de lejos el oriente del occidente,
así alejó de nosotros nuestras transgresiones.
Como un padre se compadece de sus hijos,
así se compadece el Señor de los que le temen^.
Porque El sabe de qué estamos hechos^,
se acuerda de que somos sólo polvo. Salmo 103,11-14

For as the heavens are high above the earth, so is His mercy great upon those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our sins from us. As a father cares for His children, so does the LORD care for those who fear Him.  For He Himself knows whereof we are made; He remembers that we are but dust. Psalm 103:11-14

Yesterday in Large Group I read aloud a piece begun on El Camino to answer the essay prompt, Is man good or bad? And I do remember sitting in that little café in Istanbul, and God whispering, “This one, and this one, and yes that one too. Each one is my beloved, yet broken child. For we are but dust.”

And as my way continued its way through Italy, France, Spain and back again, that presence of Love was with me, pointing and centering. And Matteo’s parting prayer was a declaration of truth: "Oh Lord, our short life is just a lesson for us to finally learn how to Love."

The big thing in our writing workshop is pointing and centering. And it is really, really hard for us teacher-types to avoid evaluating words like good and bad. And the phrases, “I like…” and “…needs more development.” We even get dinged for things like “powerful” and “effective.” Pointing involves listing words or phrases that stand out. Noticing. And Centering is focusing on the unifying truth or heart of the piece. And we practiced a lot, yesterday.

And yesterday I was able to pause, like my Savior, and look at the eyes and listen to the stories and poems of aching dusty souls. Stories of condemned yet innocent brothers and stepping outside of the family faith and being fat in middle school.

Nicole told a story yesterday, about a very straight-laced Wheaton football player type whose work companions were smirking at him in the background as he stepped forward to serve a very obviously and towering tall transvestite. And all he had to do was look her in the eyes, and his heart flowed with God’s love without a hint of awkwardness.

And as I work my way through Stott’s The Sermon on the Mount: Christian Counterculture and weigh the words that prefaced the lament of Jesus, “Why do you call me Lord, Lord and do not do what I say?” I am faced with a high calling: Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.

And one thing about all of this traveling, I have a much better sense of how far the east is from the west.

So be it.

Take no thought for tomorrow, for tomorrow will take care of itself

Bendice, alma mía, al Señor,
y no olvides ninguno de sus beneficios.
El es el que perdona todas tus iniquidades,
el que sana todas tus enfermedades;
el que rescata de la fosa tu vida,
el que te corona de bondad y compasión. Salmo 103

El toque tierno de Dios fortalece nuestra fe, nos prepare para amar, aguidiza nuestros sentidos y nos ensena a ver con corazon. Su toque nos permite creer como ninos para que el mensaje del Evangelio puede renacer en nosotros. De Venezuela

Bless the Lord, oh my soul, and may I not forget Your many gifts.

As we wait in the Bologna airport it is really a giant leap over the cliff.

But as I consider the steps day by day that have led to this point, His kindness and compassion have been evident. His soft touch strengthens my faith. And sometimes this touch is the gentle prayer of Matteo as he prays for his girls while we race down the highway in the bright yellow Volkswagon. May this touch refresh a childlike faith in me, "Jump, Christy, jump."

So I squinch up my eyes, swing my arms, and jump.