A tiniest glimpse of His glory and goodness.

Call to Worship Serve the Lord with gladness, for the Lord is good; His steadfast love endures forever, and His faithfulness to all generations. Psalm 100

Confession Make us new, that we might have peace with You, peace with each other, and peace within ourselves.

Contemplation For God did not send His Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through Him. Jeremiah proclaimed the coming judgment of God. Jesus bore the weight of God’s judgment in our place. His blood speaks a better word.

When Jesus stood in that awful gap between God and his people, the curtain of the temple was torn asunder. The presence and power of God was made available to all. Their mourning would be turned to laughing. The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Prayer By Grace, today I will fast from trying to perform because only in Christ can I experience extravagant acceptance without experiencing exhausting performance. Today I will keep close to Jesus: I am already loved. I repent of not walking with You, Jesus, every moment which too often leaves me driven hard by pride and fear every day.  -VosKamp

So I get it. Googleanything is not God.

But, man, googlemaps is the coolest. Even cooler than the Powers of Ten video I loved showing my sixth graders. And as Brandon and I hunch together over the little laptop and zoom into any of those flat, solid seemingly empty shapes and drop the little orange man marker randomly into any place along the road from Genoa, Italy to Santiago Campostela, Spain, we can instantly enter the cobbled roads and windy ocean overlooks that we plan on cycling through in just two months. And nod to the three old ladies frozen in time chatting over laundry.  Or smile at the daddy walking down the street with his two little girls with braids flipping with a head toss.

And He has not forgotten us, the people of His pasture. And His eye is upon us. Not just in gleaming 3D color with pretty decent resolution. But all the way into what is hidden behind the whitewashed walls. He sees our heart. And our longings and our mourning. And He is not dismayed or taken aback. For these sins He died. But not really for the sins, but rather for the beloved sinners. That each of us shall come into His presence and be made new. The curtain has been ripped forever. Once and for all.

That we might know peace, His peace. For all generations. He is our peace.

The morning sun filters in through the palm fronds.

Call to Worship Blessed be God, because He has not rejected my prayer or removed His steadfast love from me! Psalm 66:20

Contemplation The hesed of God is a combination of strength in action, fierce commitment, and tender emotional care. God is a mighty warrior, a faithful husband, and a wise Father. This is love that David remembers and trusts in his time of need. This is how he can begin with “How long?” and end with “my heart shall rejoice.” The goal of deliverance is always worship. May the love of God fill us up and turn our complaints into a prayer of faith and a song of praise.

What does the love of God look like?

In front of the Vineyard, nestled against a corner wall there is a large blue ceramic fountain filled with and surrounded by an odd, mismatched pile of rocks. And each one has a story. Each one was held up in front of the congregation, held up high as a very solid reminder of He Who Will Not Fail. And much as the splashing St. Francis fountain greets me new every morning, so does His faithful lovingkindness, His hesed.

I will trust in You.

Let the weak say I am strong in the strength of the LORD.

I will trust in You.

Fill my heart with songs of deliverance whenever I am afraid.

I will trust in You.

Am I holding my sheaf of prayers in a clenched fist?

Lord who made the lion and the lamb,
You decreed I should be what I am.
Would it spoil some vast eternal plan,

If I were a wealthy man? – Tevye

O LORD . . . answer us when we call. Psalm 20:9

And mostly in this morning’s passages the Psalmist was asking for the utter destruction of his enemies.

Each evening they come back,
    howling like dogs
    and prowling about the city.
 They wander about for food
    and growl if they do not get their fill.

  But I will sing of Your strength;
    I will sing aloud of Your steadfast love in the morning.
 O my Strength, I will sing praises to you,
    for You, O God, are my fortress,
    the God who shows me steadfast love. Psalm 59

And I read a bunch of stuff about the “imprecatory” psalms, calling down violent justice upon one’s enemies (and yes, I am still crabby at David for his last breath slicing and dicing), and there are lots of opinions, but once again I will land with Lewis when he said, “[T]he ferocious parts of the Psalms serve as a reminder that there is in the world such a thing as wickedness and that . . . is hateful to God.”

Because whoever put together today’s lectionary reminded us that Jesus wants us to leave vengeance in the hands of a just God: Jesus said: “But I say this to you who are listening: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who treat you badly. To anyone who slaps you on one cheek, present the other cheek as well; to anyone who takes your cloak from you, do not refuse your tunic. Give to everyone who asks you, and do not ask for your property back from someone who takes it.”

Jesus who totally gets What is What.

So that is today’s question. Am I listening? Do I believe? Is my God just? Is He trustworthy? Can I indeed cast all my cares upon Him? Will I choose to sing of His steadfast love?

And sometimes, well, pretty much all of the time my prayers are cries for mercy, for me and my beloved ones and for the unknowns, the unknowns who fill the headlines with their chopped-off heads or are shot at by police as they chant “bread, freedom and social justice.”

Yep the howling dogs return each evening, ripping at my rest.

Just yesterday morning Cameron and I were admiring a young babe absolutely and completely at rest on his mother’s breast. He basically melted into the comfort of her love and provision. 

So today let me likewise release. Snuggle in deeply, listening to the heartbeat of love. May I sing aloud His praises as I cry out for healing, for provision, for intervention.

For what we are about to receive, may the Lord make us truly thankful. Amen.

And I might have nicked my knuckles a few times too

The Lord is merciful and gracious,
    slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
    so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him;

The steadfast love of the Lord is

    from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him.

Bless the Lord, all His works,
    in all places of His dominion.
Bless the Lord, O my soul! Psalm 103

So the night before last Yucheng cooked this masterpiece meal of pork belly. And it was really quite amazing to see the ingredients slide into the pot after our extended visit to the Oriental market at Prince and Stone. He started with a half a pound of butter and a cup of canola oil in which he sautéed star anise, cinnamon sticks and dried chile peppers. Then he swirled in a pound of brown sugar until it melted into one smoothness. Then five pounds of pork belly that I helped chop into one-inch slabs. And the whole thing stewed for several hours until it was time to add three bottles of beer and simmer it once again until the very last hour, when he added a pound of mushroom and half a pound of fried tofu and added both the soy sauce for flavor and the soy sauce for color and white pepper which is quite different than black pepper and just enough salt.  All this was served over white rice from Alan’s Korean rice bowls, and the whole thing was pretty amazing although probably not something to eat every day.

But man, all of this savoryness left a mess of a pot. There was a solid three inches of crud stuck on the bottom. And I scraped and dug and chopped for what seemed like forever. And simmered it again with water trying to soften some of the gunk. And then John suggested alcohol or acetone to eat away some of the sugar, so I figured if fingernail polish remover could work on it a bit in some inexplicable chemical way.

But really it came down steadfastness. I really wanted to just ditch the pan into the green dumpster and go pick up something else at Goodwill. But I finally got down to the where the metal scrubber pad and Ajax sorta did some good and I went around and around and around, and now, well it is good to go, with just a few more dents and scratches than before, but perfectly serviceable and even shiny.

And my God is steadfast. Even through my stuck-on gunk. And Psalm 103 reminds me over and over again of how this steadfast love never ceases. His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is His faithfulness.

Bless the LORD, oh my soul.

And a rainbow arched upward and disappeared into the clouds

Come, let us return to the Lord;

For He has torn us, that He may heal us;

He has struck us down, and He will bind us up.

Let us know; let us press on to know the Lord;

His going out is sure as the dawn;

He will come to us as the showers,

As the spring rains that water the earth.

For I desire steadfast love and not sacrifice,

The knowledge of God rather than burnt offerings.

Hosea 6, Matthew 12:7

Be glad and rejoice in the Lord your God,

for He has given the early rain for your vindication;

He has poured down for you abundant rain,

the early and the latter rain, as before.

The threshing floors shall be full of grain;

the vats shall overflow with wine and oil.

I will restore to you the years

that the swarming locust has eaten,

the hopper, the destroyer, and the cutter,

my great army, which I sent among you.Amos 2:23-25

Somehow these Scriptures pull together so many small yet very vivid images from the past two days, wrapping them all up into one big hopeful promise. 

The brilliant pink burst momentarily lined the later rain clouds piled high in the east when I turned the corner of Tucson International Airport after dropping off Nicole as she heads to South Dakota to challenge students, teachers and families to be intentionally and courageously kind. Momentarily.  My next glance eastward, towards Aslan’s country, was filled with only heavy greyness, but the sign of glory had broken through, a promise.

Tucson is suffering a plague of swarming locusts: the hoppers, the destroyers, and the cutters, The little colorful bodies are throwing themselves upward and inward to every vulnerable space. Chomp, chomp, chomp through the basil and oregano by the front door, leaping into my classroom, along with a door-rattling blast of wind that blew framed pictures off the wall into shattering shards of glass. And while I can trap a few of them into mismatched petri dishes for an observation activity for my science students and toss a couple of the decidedly most unhappy ones into the black widow jar on my desk, hundreds of the little guys crunch underfoot. Underfoot, a promise.

Scooched together with a largish crowd of greying but perky souls who had gathered for foot-stomping fiddle playing, Carmen and I went to a folk music fundraiser last night headlined by Ryanhood.  Which of course meant a polished rendition of “Always Love You”:

No need to be so concerned with who is best or holiest... 

No need to be consumed with all the ways that you try to save your life...

because you are going to be sifted like the wheat, because no wheat is going to grow unless it dies... 

No need to be so confused by all the fires you have to walk though because they are breaking you and making you and building you to love the least of these, even Me... 

I will always walk with you, even if you feel you walk alone, And I will walk along with you unknown, I will walk along with you unknown, til you come home. Steadfast love, a promise.

And I had to pick a favorite verse for my Desert website biography.  So I wandered through myriad translations of Psalm 84:5, weighing “Blessed,” versus “How blessed,” and “Happy,” and “What joy for those.”  And considering “whose strength is in You” as contrasted with “strength is from the LORD,” and “strength is in Thee.” And  have I set my heart or my mind on a pilgrimage?  Or am I “disposed to ascend by steps”?

But what is more important than the me part of the verse, is the He part of the verse: He will heal us; He will bind us up; He will provide springs of water in the dry valleys, until we arrive home.

And there is 70% chance of rain today in Tucson, as just announced by NPR radio, which really means that drops are falling right on top of the announcer as he peers out of the window from his office somewhere at the university campus. And even surer than rain in Tucson today from the cumulonimbus clouds heaped up over the Catalinas, is His pouring down rain and the overflowing vats, a promise given so very long ago.

And let me not be a Pharisee who turns my back on Him, and walks away to conspire, because my plans and concerns and pride and sacrifice look different than His mercy. 

But let me be glad and rejoice in the LORD my God. May I enter the house of the God and eat the bread of His presence. Come let us return to the LORD.

In all their affliction He was afflicted

I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD, the praises of the LORD, according to all that the LORD has granted us, and the great goodness that He has granted according to His compassion, according to the abundance of His steadfast love. Isaiah 63:7-8

Yesterday Nicole asked about the melancholy tone to my morning thoughts.  A sadness woven in and out.  A faint irony shadowing even the sunlit bits.  From far away, from the other side of the spinning planet, that is what she hears.  

Ann Voscamp of course says it better.  Every day and especially this morning.  http://www.aholyexperience.com/2012/06/why-you-really-do-want-to-be-a-dangerous-disciple-of-an-unsafe-god/

Yea though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil for Thou art with me.

If I knew no hurt I would not know His healing touch.  Only the sick have need of a Physician.  Popping nitro pills first thing every morning to calm gripping pain.  Freshly ground coffee produces the most fragrant capuchino.  You anoint my head with oil.

And I push through the glass door with the fading taped flyer about the little three-old-girl who was stolen from her bed and step out onto the cement deck lined with bright red and blue flags dangling over the Olympic pool full of hoping-to-be Olympic swimmers who head to the time trials next week.  I slip into the water now warmed by the summer sun, and Jim the swim swami reminds me, like he reminds me every day, “Steady effort.”

Early morning mud splatters on my light-as-a-feather Crocs.   I remember when Heather dragged me to one of those frightful mall kiosks.  They terrify me.  The torn emotions of pity for the desperate salesclerks bounding from behind the counter and dread.  Leave me alone.  Anyway.  Something perfect for momma.  Vaguely stylish and ever-so-sensible.  Tromp through Jarabocoa rivers and with a swipe they are ready for Country Club dining.  Almost.  Just like me. Thank you for Crocs that rinse off easily before I head off to work.

Yes.  I will recount the steadfast love of the LORD.  The great goodness He has granted.  According to His compassion.  

May His mercy shine upon us.  Today as I wait in the room outside the procedure for a beloved friend, sitting amongst the stacked and crumpled magazines and strategically placed windows overlooking manicured gardens to remind us that there is Someone Outside and Bigger than the doctors, I will raise my stone named Ebenezer for "Thus far the LORD has helped us."

It’s more about memories these days rather than memory.  As I stare down at the blank sheet of paper trying to dredge up the name.

Come, Thou Fount of every blessing, 

tune my heart to sing Thy grace; 

streams of mercy, never ceasing, 

call for songs of loudest praise. 

Teach me some melodious sonnet, 

sung by flaming tongues above. 

Praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, 

mount of Thy redeeming love.