O Holy Spirit, as the sun is full of light, the ocean full of water, Heaven full of glory, so may my heart be full of thee.

Call to Worship Your name, O Lord, endures forever, Your renown, O Lord, throughout all ages. For the Lord will vindicate His people and have compassion on His servants. Psalm 135:13-14

Confession Lord, You come to us, but we do not recognize You; You call, but we do not follow; You command, but we do not obey, You bless us, but we do not thank you. Please forgive and help us. Lord, You accept us, but we do not accept others; You forgive us, but we do not forgive those who wrong us; You love us, but we do not love our neighbors. Please forgive and help us. Lord, You showed us how to carry out Your mission, but we still insist on our own; You identified with the poor and needy, but we seek our own wants and desires; You suffered and died for all, but we turn to our own comfort. In the midst of our lack of faith, You are always faithful! Please forgive and help us, You are the faithful one! Amen.

Contemplation But Jesus offers us another way, a humble way that waits patiently – despite the suffering – for the Spirit of God to direct our steps. He reveals to us what it means to embrace our humanity without short cuts. 


Well, I have no shadow of doubt that this leap down the road was on the Spirit’s prodding. And, yeah, my shining light is still just brief scratched-matchstick bursts that quickly flame out, but, well, it is light nevertheless.

And there are joyous glowsticks of light waving across campus from Cate and Nicole’s rooms. And there are springs of His joy in each of our footsteps, albeit a little less springy by the end of the day.

Yesterday I had a conversation with ol’ Xavier, the dread-locked kid who is just returning from out-of-school suspension and who did not seem to have learned even one iota of classroom decorum from his vacation from school. And he sure gets well, pissed, if I mispronounce his name as Javier because he “ain’t no Mexican,” and if I call him “Sir,” well, that pisses him off too, but it was still a good chat. I told him that I had a weird little story to tell him. Weird spelled W-E-I-R-D, since no one knows how to spell “weird scientist hair.”

And I told him about the first time I saw him outside of his locker when I was visiting that first time. And he corrected me and said, “Miss, we don’t have lockers; I was standing at the drinking fountain.” And he had asked if I was the new science teacher, and I had said yes, and he had said, “Miss, we are going to have a great time.”

I told Xavier that when I met him, I thought to myself, “That is exactly the student I want to teach,” and that he was the reason I was teaching at his school and I knew that we were going to have a great time.

Xavier agreed that it was a weird story.

And yesterday Nicole and Cate sent out an offer to all of the school leadership. They said that wanted to start a Leadership class the last period of the day. And that they would take everyone’s “Leader for Bad,” and work on learning how to be “Leaders for Good.” Whenever my dad dropped us kids off at school, he always told us to be Leaders for Good, and not Leaders for Bad.

And on the Monday after spring break, they will have the boys/girls separated and do some community building, Tuesday the school has asked Nicole to lead a schoolwide Rachel's Challenge, and then they will talk about what project they want to do together that would focus on respect, team-building, collaboration and making a positive impact on the school... Rather than being a "Resource" class, we would call it our "Leadership Class: Becoming a Resource to ourselves and others."

Each week we would focus on going "In" --- some reflection, awareness, developing personal resources --- as well as "out" -- becoming sensitive and aware of needs around us and learning to collaborate to become the change we want to see.

If there are any "misdirected" leaders, misfits, kids who might need some more vision or help with their issues, please feel free to hand-select them and send them our way to sixth period.  We want to maintain the fairly intimate class size that we currently have, but really use that time to serve the kids (and especially at the end of the day when they are wound-up emotionally anyways.) 

 I imagine a few teachers will be happy to send some “misdirected” leaders over to their sixth period class.

And yeah, I am pretty proud-happy with my compadres. And one of the Leadership Team at the school always tells me that we were sent by God to her school to change the school culture.

All I know is that we were sent by God.

And today’s Lent Contemplation was about Jesus’ time in the desert. And again and again, Satan whispered, “Now,” and again and again, Jesus was willing to remain under and wait on His Father and not take any shortcuts.

And LORD God, today may I recognize You again and again. Standing by the drinking fountain, for instance, ready to have a great time.

Because You will have compassion on Your servants, and Your name is to be glorified throughout all ages.

And man, Nicole fairly floats out of the house with all of her jingle jangle costume clothes, she is so full of His joy.

A place whose name literally means “oil press.”

Let my cry come before You, O LORD; give me understanding, according to Your word. Let my supplication come before You; deliver me, according to Your promise. Psalm 119:169–70

And in the same way that an angel appeared and comforted Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane, may You send me strengthening, the renewed certainty–cold comfort this–that the thing must be endured and therefore could be? Lewis, Letters to Malcolm

O God, come to my assistance! O Lord, make haste to help me!

* * *

So yesterday started off rough. I couldn’t even make it through swimming because I was weeping so much I couldn’t breathe properly. Which made Jim the coach very uncomfortable.

But God is faithful.

Or is it And God is faithful. Through it all.  This is how it works, the plan.

And lots of angel-comforters stepped in yesterday and filled me with courage and understanding. And today as well. Step by step. Not all slumber, weighted down with sleep, but many are awake and watching in love.

He made haste. And His children made haste. What grace and mercy.

Glory in His holy Name; let the hearts of those who seek the LORD rejoice. Psalm 105:3

He said unto him, What doest thou here, Elijah?

January 28 2014

Almighty and everlasting God, you govern all things both in heaven and on earth: Mercifully hear the supplications of your people, and in our time grant us your peace; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

 January 29, 2014

Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not all His benefits.

So yesterday morning I woke up weeping. So very many discouraging…as in sucking the heart out of me…thoughts crowded darkly into my mind. Memories of the previous day loomed in terrible replay mode in my unhappy dreams.  I felt alone, on a huge empty plain, with jagged fissures slicing deeply into hard-packed soil, with nary a single green sprig pushing upward. Alone under the bright cold sky with nary a raincloud on the horizon. And with my squeezed shut eyes I was Alone; me and Elijah in his rocky cave.

And then God let loose the heavens and raindrops of blessing pounded around me, refreshing and renewing. And well, washed the dust from my squinched eyes and well, yes, I was able to notice little green sprigs pushing upward through the caliche in all directions.  This compacted cement-like impermeable layer of life cannot resist the LORD God of heaven and earth Who is at work to both to will and to act for His good pleasure.

He is merciful. In that I can find peace. Amen.

The long and winding road

But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Matthew 6:33

The story of Phillip is a comfort. He was a man who obeyed the slightest prodding of the Spirit.  And was met at every turn of the Road Less Chosen: serving tables, fleeing prosecution, stepping in the chariot on the empty road, and welcoming the apostle into his well-appointed and happy home.  

He was Chosen. Received a promise. And God is faithful.

Amen.

When faced with bared teeth

But they could find no ground for complaint or any fault, because he was faithful, and no error or fault was found in him.  Daniel 6:4

“Son of man, when a land sins against me by acting faithlessly, and I stretch out my hand against it ... even if these three men, Noah, Daniel, and Job, were in it, they would deliver but their own lives by their righteousness, declares the Lord God.  Ezekiel 14:13-14

When Daniel knew that the document had been signed, he went to his house where he had windows in his upper chamber open toward Jerusalem. He got down on his knees three times a day and prayed and gave thanks before his God, as he had done previously. Daniel 6:10-11

 One of Alan’s questions at our Community Cafe Saturday night for the sundry folk gathered around the backyard table, huddling near the first fireplace of the season, under the infamous white knit blankets was this: Who is someone who walks well, who manifests the Life of Christ as a model to follow?  And we heard the list of regular suspects: Mother Teresa, Francis of Assisi, and Mike Begley, twice.  

The Prophet Ezekiel shared God’s Top Three List of Those Who Lived Rightly with a people who had lost their understanding, with a people whose values and priorities had been so roundly infected with those of the surrounding society that a great stench rose up that demanded purification, justice. 

And to me, who sometimes loses sight of what’s what, it is good to be reminded. Of what right living entails.  Here we see that Daniel was faithful, blameless before God and man, and thankful.  

And when circumstances swelled over and up out of control, signed and sealed with the irrevocable law of the Medes and Persians, beyond all possible hope and despair, Daniel knelt down before God and gave Him thanks.  

And I am reminded that Jesus told the healed leper that faithful and thankful were the same thing.  Faith is demonstrated, put into action, through the action of praise.

And the result of this faithful action of thankfulness?  

Daniel was delivered from the roaring circumstances.  Through no belabored action plans or disciplined personal finesse or wit, but by the clear hand of God.

And the name of the LORD God was lifted up, for He is the living God, enduring forever.

He will be known.  

Another plate of veggies, please

But Daniel resolved that he would not defile himself with the king's food, or with the wine that he drank.  Daniel 1:8

There are ever-so-many ways to dirty ourselves up- whether it be the food we eat, the activities with which we occupy our time or thoughts or the garbage-in, garbage out aspect of our mind.  To stray into off-trails and brambles of life.  Rather, what brings honor and glory to God?  That’s the bottom line, throughout the day, over and over.

Not only did Daniel make the initial decision, but he followed through. Even when he was hungry and the sweet and savory flavors drifting past his nostrils.  And weary after a long hard day packing in all the literature and wisdom of Babylon.  Lots of small decisions, over and over.  What brings honor and glory to God?  That was the bottom line, throughout the day, throughout the night, over and over.

And we all mumble things about grace and forgiveness and second chances and nothing we can do can lessen or deepen His great love for us, which is all true.  We really don’t earn brownie points for our sash to flaunt across our chest.  But the little things do matter.  They matter to me, to who I am becoming, and how I am becoming.  The patterns.  The preparedness.  At the end of the time, in every matter of wisdom and understanding about which the king inquired of them, he found them ten times better than all the magicians and enchanters that were in all his kingdom.

And in what God has placed on my heart, His calling for me, I too want to be faithful.  

Funny, my verse for the day: With my whole heart I seek you; let me not stray from your commandments. Psalm 119:10