Cameron always kicked off his shoes before he led us into worship.

Desert

Disentanglement

Shake loose all that binds and chokes

Fly free, O my soul.

For God alone my soul in silence waits; truly, my hope is in Him.  Psalm 62:6

Let all mortal flesh keep silence, and with fear and trembling stand;

Ponder nothing earthly minded, For with blessing is His hand,

Christ our God to earth descendeth, Our full homage to demand.

The soul that is attached to anything, however much good there may be in it, will not arrive at the liberty of divine union. For whether it be a strong wire rope or a slender and delicate thread that holds the bird, it matters not, if it really holds it fast, for until the cord be broken, the bird cannot fly.  -John of the Cross

Today in the silence as I sift through the Eucharist-always-precedes-the-miracle lists, what I am reminded of again and again is that there is no random thread with the Master Weaver.

Tuesday we had a “Make and Take” meeting in the Bonillas library, complete with hot chocolate and warm cookies. The plan was to provide parents with a dozen activities to do with the kiddos over the holidays, and it was more or less successful.

One of the projects was weaving a God’s Eye from yarn and popsicle sticks. And the art teacher and I had sort of forgotten exactly how to do this blast-from-the-past relic that hangs from so many Christmas trees. So there was some awkward twisting and winding and pretty much I was the only one in the room who could knot the ends of yarn, but when each eye was flipped over, it all made beautiful sense and the backside bumps did not matter at all.

And Dustin wrote another piece today reflecting on the year of journey.

That said, we visited the caves and pagodas of Danang’s Marble Mountains yesterday and DUUUUUDDDEEE it was incredible. We wandered up polished steps to a temple, scrambled through caves to reach mountaintop views of the humidity-drenched city, and saw a ton of Buddha statues. Everette immediately noticed Korean women removing their shoes, approaching a statue, and repeatedly bowing before Mr. Buddha (astute observer that she is) and so she immediately also began reverently removing her knock-off Crocs and lying prostrate on the marble floors herself. 

And that is something that the all His peoples get, the need to prostrate fall. I remember Cameron always kicking off his shoes before he led us into worship.

When my chimes went off last night and Dre asked about them, I did not do a good job articulating my intent. A reminder to exhale deeply all of me, and breathe in deeply all of Him.

May I too kick off my figurative Crocs.

Again and again, if need be.

Selah.

Crushed and broken to become something new together.

Oh Lord, let my soul rise up to meet You

As the day rises to meet the sun.

Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,

As it was in the beginning, is now, and will be forever. Amen

But the people of Israel walked on dry ground through the sea, the waters being a wall to them on their right hand and on their left. Exodus 14

And He shall judge the world in righteousness, He shall minister judgment to the people in uprightness. Psalm 6

Today’s Scripture readings are all about overcoming: Psalm 6, Exodus 14 and 1 John 2. But it is not I overcoming. Rather it is He, the righteous Advocate, He who is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.

Yesterday I went to my first new members class at Prince Chapel, which is a series of twelve two-hour classes, but we might be able to move through the teachings a little more quickly because there are only two of us. And actually, we covered the first four lessons in just one day: Out of the Darkness Into His Marvelous Light: God’s Plan for Salvation; Introduction to the Church: General Church Information, Church Liturgy, Order of Service and Church Manners; Fundamental Methodist Doctrine: 25 Articles of Religion; The Origin, History, Structure and Government of the AME Church.

And my homework for next week is to find Scriptural support of the doctrines and practices of Methodism. And we were reminded of those founding brothers, John and Charles Wesley, and their passion for disciplined prayer, for the study of God’s Word and for seeking out lost souls. And I remembered Susan Wesley, their mother, who was faithful and strong through many trials. And I remember how so many years ago, I resolved to be like unto her in her courage, her commitment to each individual child, and her commitment to begin each day on her knees.

And the African Methodist Episcopalian Church was founded in 1787 out of a desire to freely worship God in Spirit and in Truth. Because those of African descent were relegated to the back rows of church, not invited to the table of communion. Not invited into the body of Christ.

Eucharist is from the Greek eucharistein, meaning thanksgiving; communion is from the Latin, meaning “union with.”

And Christ asked us to remember Him in this way. “Re-member-ing” has to do with becoming something new, the body of Christ, in which we lose ourselves in something bigger than ourselves; we are re-membered into a new body. As often as Christian take the common elements of bread and wine, the re-member themselves into –Jesus. In the Eucharist, we don’t just remember-Jesus in general; we remember His suffering. The bread is a broken body, and the wine is poured like shed blood. Bother grain and grapes have to be crushed and broken to become something new together. If you are what you eat, the Eucharist is indeed the act of uniting yourself with the One who lovingly suffered at the hands of His enemies. (The Book of Common Prayer)

And the folks at AME take communion seriously. If members are unable to attend service, the pastor delivers communion to their homes.

And so I have been asked to lead the adult Bible study this morning. There are just a few of us gathering, but my, we all do love His Word. And the text today is the 23^rd Psalm, which is so beloved by me that variations of it are all my new internet passwords. And I am ushering today as well. And I have been asked to wear black and white, and they are going to loan me white gloves, and a big part of the ushers’ job is to stand at the door and make sure every single person feels welcome and I was chosen because I have such a big smile but there are a lot of Church Manners I am still learning, such as no walking about during prayer and Scripture reading, and no crossing the center aisle once service has begun, because Jesus Christ is in the center of our worship, and no applauding after the singing, no matter how glorious it is. And the folks at AME are pretty impressed with how I know all of the old hymns by heart.

Be Thou my Vision, O Lord of my heart
Naught be all else to me, save that Thou art
Thou my best Thought, by day or by night
Waking or sleeping, Thy presence my light

Be Thou my Wisdom, and Thou my true Word
I ever with Thee and Thou with me, Lord
Thou my great Father, I Thy true son
Thou in me dwelling, and I with Thee one

Riches I heed not, nor man’s empty praise
Thou mine Inheritance, now and always
Thou and Thou only, first in my heart
High King of Heaven, my Treasure Thou art

High King of Heaven, my victory won
May I reach Heaven’s joys, O bright Heav’n’s Sun
Heart of my own heart, whate’er befall
Still be my Vision, O Ruler of all

And for the past two weeks, I have just been hitting “replay,” again and again, as the little dusty black Rabbit hops through Tucson traffic.

May this be true, great Father, that I truly know Thy Presence by heart. Waking or sleeping, may Thy Presence be my light. 

Selah. 

Then He told them to have all the people sit down together in groups on the green grass.

I will exalt you, O LORD, because You have lifted me up and have not let my enemies triumph over me. O LORD my God, I cried out to You, and you restored me to health. You brought me up, O LORD, from the dead; You restored my life as I was going down to the grave. Sing to the LORD, you servants of His; give thanks for the remembrance of His holiness. For His wrath endures but the twinkling of an eye, His favor for a lifetime. Weeping may spend the night, but joy comes in the morning. Psalm 30:1-6

So I read one of those marriage articles this morning and the main piece of advise runs along the lines of “If your feelings of love are waning, they can be recovered. With some effort, intention and energy, love can grow.”

And that good advise also has something to do about exalting God. This counselor guy almost always give the suffering couple the same assignment: on the way home, retell the stories of your first date, how you fell in love, what first attracted you to the other, what you love the most about each other and what your dreams are of a future together.

And Jesus always gave thanks before he broke the bread.

And as I bring my small little loaves to Jesus, may I too give thanks.

Exalt His name, for He is love.

I have had glimpses of buried treasure and other things submerged

It is a good thing to give thanks to the LORD, and to sing praises to your Name, O Most High; To tell of your loving-kindness early in the morning and of your faithfulness in the night season. Psalm 92:1-2

He revives my soul and guides me along right pathways for His Name’s sake. Psalm 23:3

I sure as heck have no idea what lies ahead.

But I have a heart full of images of Jesus breaking the bread and lifting His eyes to heaven and giving thanks before He offers it up to His followers. Before the miracle of provision.

And sometimes the night seasons are long. And last night I sat outside and let bits of an almost rainstorm splatter me as I read Dickens A Tale of Two Cities: Other sound than the owl's voice there was none, save the falling of a fountain into its stone basin; for, it was one of those dark nights that hold their breath by the hour together, and then heave a long low sigh, and hold their breath again.

And I am not sure why I went further into the melancholic mood first established with Saturday’s Les Miz, because of course Dickens builds upon it, brick by brick, with the sorrows of mankind. But there is light gleaming his each of his carefully hefted words, just as hope echoes in the wordless tunes of dreaming of dreams that now form the soundtrack against the stillness.

And there is great mercy found in the Dickens’ cry for justice: A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it!

Every human creature. And Our Shepherd knows each our names and sees the secret longing of our hearts. For we are Your people and the sheep of Your pasture.

And in this let me give praise for Your lovingkindness in the morning. For in Thee do I trust.

For we are your people and the sheep of your pasture; we will give you thanks for ever and show forth your praise from age to age.

Cause me to know the way wherein I should walk, for I lift up my soul unto Thee.

Deliver me; Teach me to do Thy will. Quicken me, Oh LORD. I lift up my soul unto Thee.

And even if I do not know for what I ask, Your Spirit within me does. Ask and you shall receive. Seek and you shall find. Knock and it shall be opened to you.

Almighty God, give me grace that I may always most thankfully receive.

The gleaming Mark O'Hagin table holds up Life

 Now as they were eating, Jesus took bread, and after blessing it broke it and gave it to the disciples, and said, “Take, eat; this is my body.” And He took a cup, and when He had given thanks He gave it to them, saying, “Drink of it, all of you, for this is my blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins.  I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.” Matthew 25:26-29

This mountain the Lord of hosts will make for all peoples

a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,

to rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.

And He will swallow up on this mountain

the covering that is cast over all peoples,

The veil that is spread over all nations.

He will swallow up death forever;

and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces,

and the reproach of His people He will take away from all the earth,

For the Lord has spoken.

It will be said on that day,

“Behold, this is our God; we have waited for Him, that He might save us.

This is the Lord; we have waited for Him;

Let us be glad and rejoice in His salvation.” Isaiah 25:6-9

Let us rejoice and be glad in His salvation.

His kingdom is now.

Sin and death have been destroyed.

So all of us teacher-types were packed up to Glendale yesterday for a professional development by a horse-whisperer sort of guy. And really, there were lots of bits that I didn't really agree with and that it thought were contradictory etc. etc. but. He did remind me of one absolute truth. Satan has lost the battle. It is done. Over. Finished.

And all of the doubts and fears and brokenness that weighs us down, the heavy-ladenness of life is mostly tied up with not saying, “Get ye back, Satan” enough.

And I am reminded that Jesus Who Knows What Is True always blesses first.   Before He broke the bread. And may that be my first response to life, a true thank you God for You are good and Your kingdom is Now. Not in the distant by-and-by, but Now.

And a friend, recently tattooed much to Alan’s dismay wrote about our little Plymouth Brethren Chapel, imperfect yet whole, and the breaking of bread service led only by the Spirit.

Bethany Chapel

Bracketed between the first
tentative prayers, a silence fills
this place, a shadowed listening
as our separateness seeks out
the Spirit’s focus for this hour
and gathers strength enough
to peer and soar
into small, shining arcs of praise
held at their lower ends
by the old hymns. Christ
in this crowd of rest and rising
humbles himself again to our
humanity; and like the sheep
(trembling in the shearer’s hands)
surrenders to us once more
in quietness.

As at his dark birth and death
we had his body in our fingers,
now, again, we split the whiteness
of his loaf by turns, and tasting
his imaged life against
the cup’s cool rim
we take him in.
Nourished by that final flesh,
that ultimate blood behind
the chosen signs, our God-thoughts,
seeds of worship, multiply to words.
Light flows down to us, and back,
joins us in one body of fire –
one polyphon of light now
sounding out himself –
one flame of singing
burning into being.

Luci Shaw

And because I am married to the worship leader, I know that today’s service is about this selfsame silence.

And my heart always fills in the part, “and they sang a hymn and went went out to the Mount of Olives” with an unspoken “in silence.”

And I know Marco was unhappy with the careless chit-chat before and between and after the Eucharist.

And today may I hear the silence.

In the one flame of singing burning into being.