Wrapping a towel around my waist as I head out the door

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
    but with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2

So Dave from 4Tucson preached again Sunday. And it’s all about humility, as in

So if there is any encouragement in Christ, any comfort from love, any participation in the Spirit, any affection and sympathy, complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind. Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, by taking the form of a servant.

Because, as Dave likes to remind us again and again, unity is what was on the heart of not only Paul as being the point of it all, but also, unity is what was on the heart of Jesus, on the night he was betrayed, this was His prayer: May they be brought to complete unity so that the world know that You sent Me and that You have loved them even as You have loved Me.

Jesus chose humility at every step of life...from where to be born to how He died. Humility is thinking of yourself less, not thinking less of yourself. It doesn't say, "be humble," it says, "Humble yourself." Choose to go low.

 So that we come a step closer to being the answer to Christ's prayer.

And Dave passed out this green sheet of paper outside under the olive trees, a little private in-your-prayer-closet sort of self-test on how one is doing in the realm of humility, and choosing to go low. Choosing the mind of Christ. And I sort of breezed through it yesterday, yeah, yeah.  And the Spirit brought it back to me time and time again, throughout the day, this thing about going low.

Because I noticed some offensing taking place throughout the day, when I didn’t leap into “hardly even noticing when others do it wrong.”

And He in all His kindness had already pointed out that I wasn’t so good at point number eight, about not labeling people or avoiding quick judgments. And yesterday was full of number nines, about accepting unfair criticism and number thirteen, accepting blame when I have compromised because of fear. Yep, sometimes I compromise because I am afraid of fifteen-year-olds.

And then there’s fifteen and twenty, “I accept God’s testing and discipline without grumbling,” and “I am a thankful person.”

And the little green paper ends with “There’s no grading curve. Nothing that says, 15 out of 20 means ‘Christ-like attitude,’ and 10 out of 20 means ‘nice start.’” Rather Jesus expects them all out of me, all the time. If I scored less that 20, then I need to step into the humbling me as I take my sin to the cross.

And all of this reminds me of Tom Copp's big word, that he used to work into almost every sermon: 

hupomenó: to stay behind, to await, endure

Original Word: ὑπομένω
Part of Speech: Verb
Transliteration: hupomenó
Phonetic Spelling: (hoop-om-en'-o)
Short Definition: I remain behind, endure
Definition: (a) I remain behind, (b) I stand my ground, show endurance, (c) I endure, bear up against, persevere.

I remain behind.

For whoever finds me finds life

The Lord formed and brought Wisdom forth at the beginning of His way,

before His acts of old. 

I, Wisdom, was inaugurated and ordained from everlasting,

from the beginning, before ever the earth existed.

When there were no deeps, I was brought forth,

when there were no fountains laden with water.

Before the mountains were settled,

before the hills, I was brought forth,

While as yet He had not made the land or the fields

or the first of the dust of the earth.

When He prepared the heavens, I was there;

when He drew a circle upon the face of the deep 

and stretched out the firmament over it,

When He made firm the skies above,

when He established the fountains of the deep,

When He gave to the sea its limit and His decree

that the waters should not transgress across the boundaries set by His command,

when He appointed the foundations of the earth—

Then I was beside Him as a master and director of the work;

and I was daily His delight, rejoicing before Him always, Proverbs 8

So I just got a note from Wali who made it to Dulles this morning after his Tucson plane broke down last night and John had to drive him up to Phoenix lickity-split last night because there are a lot of complicated connections between here and Al-Qamishli, Kurdistan via Abu Dhabi, and Wali is a little nervous because he hasn’t been back in seven or eight years since he was fifteen and since he was granted political asylum because he might get shot when he steps foot in his old village. Which reminds me of when Dustin and I sat there through his first hearing down at the courthouse and listened agape as his pro bono lawyer earned every penny Wali didn’t pay her and he almost got sent back then and there.  And I just wrote a good-bye to Yu Cheng Bai as he takes off to China but he is going to send me the science fiction story he is writing to enjoy and edit and I chatted with Nicole finishing the last of her edits in Marmaris, Turkey, at the Global Sailing Academy, and Lily, my new kindred spirit, Jin Cheng’s sister in Australia, asked another question about his senior expo project, and Jin Cheng is a little scared because he is facing yet another Chandler biology final exam and the last one didn’t go so well, and John is a little scared too and he isn’t scared of anything but has scrambled down all of the abandoned Titan Missile shafts around Tucson but now he is walking out the door to go deep water soloing in Winslow, Arizona and who knew?

He knew.

And things are a little busy tired crazy around here. And I am too exhausted to eat anything besides cold oatmeal two or three or I forgot how many times a day even when Alan makes his stirfry specialty and am looking forward to a twenty-seven hour flight to Istanbul so I can sleep the whole way.

And as I splashed across the pool this morning in my lane with a German salesman and an Eastern European professor and a perky medical student and a gracious organic baker, I though about this knowingness. Wisdom, which was inaugurated and ordained from everlasting is mine for the asking.

And my prayer for the Penazzi brothers on Mondays is the Ask and Ye Shall Receive promise.  And it is my prayer for today.

Dear Lord God of the fountains of laden water and the settled mountains and You who drew  a circle on the face of the deep, Dear Lord God, I am asking for wisdom. You who have promised to give freely and without reproach.

Because You know.

And before I pop out the door I have to remember to print up Elizabeth’s Works Cited page because she just sent it to me and her only printer is at her dad’s work.

You know.

Bind them continually upon your heart

One of the things that the Lord hates, indeed, of the seven that are an abomination to Him; A proud look, the spirit that makes one overestimate himself and underestimate others. Proverbs 5:16-17

There’s a lot of stuff in Proverbs that no matter how slowly I read through it, the Holy Spirit doesn’t stick out the proverbial foot and ask me to pause and consider. Really, this is the section with the cautions to the sluggard who will not arise from his bed.  And the pain of debt. And the wayward woman with her mincing footsteps.

Yet.

I confess.

I confess to this abomination, this that God hates.

How quickly I leap into judgment. Glance. Snap. Click. Popping people into their place.

And those quiet moments. Whether it is leaning up against the boulders at the Mt. Lemmon cabin watching the sunrise dribble down among the pine trees while fifteen science students sort of sleep, like little sardines laid out on the living room floor or hunched in the bus seats for fear of bears, mountain lions, and well, yes, caterpillars. Or wandering through the creosote plants across Country Club past the seven-car garages. Or standing in line yet again at Fry’s grocery store.

These quiet moments will be filled.

And I can choose what it will be. Underestimating my neighbor, not giving enough weight or consideration to my neighbor’s struggle through the mire of life. Not noticing the weariness and trembling fingers, but rather noticing eggs being packed into the bottom of the grocery bag. 

And I can look at the iPhones tucked into the waistbands of short shorts and one-sip-then-tossed water bottles scattered across the mountainside. Or I can remember the teenage angst of belonging, haunted by the dread of inadequacy. Still shared by grownups. Each of us.

Or I can choose to open up my own dark corners. He is standing at the door knocking. 

Come in gentle Savior. Come in. Please linger and help me sort through my own self, my own willful and contrary heart, one that manufactures wicked thoughts and plans, and that sows discord among the brethren. 

And I am not sure what He will say to me as I make this summer’s pilgrimage following the paths of Paul and Francis and James. But I am very sure that He has laid it out from the beginning of time. May I be listening.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is discord, harmony;

Where there is error, truth;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.

And Wikipedia says that this prayer is widely but erroneously credited to St. Francis, but it matters not. Like so many before me, and around me, and those who will follow, It is the cry of my heart. The cry of my heart to follow You.

Final exam for Environmental Science class. Yep. Back alive and well. And after my well-deserved shower, I sliced open a mango from Panchita. And thought about Lisa Borden, who taught me thirty years ago how to correctly slice open a mango. Who knows what chance conversations took place hiking out to The Meadow, or around to Lemmon Lookout, or by the campfire with s'mores or bouldering up Marshall Gulch? One never knows.

Taking another swing through the creosote and prickly pear, with a song in my heart

For the unscrupulous, grasping man is an abomination to the Lord, extremely disgusting and detestable; but His confidential communion and secret counsel are with the righteous, those who are upright and in right standing with Him. Proverbs 3:32

The whole point of Proverbs 3 is here: it is simply good, blessed living to walk in the wisdom of the God, and walking in my own counsel and the counsel of the world is foolish. On a totally practical, not-pie-in-the-sky-by-and-by.  

Because really, each of us longs for the inward peace, the confidential communion with God.

Even in the overwhelming onslaught of newsfeeds and suggested posts and tweets, it is possible to discern what is good and honorable and life giving. And on what side of the fence we want to land, with the scoffed and scorned, or with those receiving undeserved favor: the low in rank, the humble and even the afflicted. The wise shall inherit glory and all honor and good, but shame is the highest rank conferred on self-confident fools.

And worldly wisdom stands on the street corners with flattering words to distract me from my path. But it is possible to not be beguiled by bright colors and preset tones.  Wisdom too is in the streets, raising her voice in the marketplace, She cries at the head of the noisy intersections in the chief gathering places; at the entrance of the city gates she speaks: How long, O simple ones, open to evil, will you love being simple? And the scoffers delight in scoffing and self-confident fools hate knowledge? If you will turn (repent) and give heed to my reproof, behold, I, Wisdom, will pour out my spirit upon you, I will make my words known to you.

And Webster’s defines communion as “the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings, especially when the exchange is on a mental or spiritual level.” And this is what I am promised, if I turn and give heed. And He promises counsel in the secret of my heart, even if the decisions are hefty and unclear. He is my confidence, firm and strong. And Wisdom’s spirit will be poured out upon me, and she will make her words known to me.

Cause me to hear Thy lovingkindness in the morning,
for in Thee do I trust.
Cause me to know they way wherein I shall walk
for I lift up my soul to Thee.

Lead me onto the paths everlasting,

Teach me to do Your will.

Quicken me Oh LORD.

For I lift up my soul unto Thee

Amen