New every morning.

Satisfy us by your loving-kindness in the morning; so shall we rejoice and be glad all the days of our life. Psalm 90:14

 Do not be conformed to the thinking of this age, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Romans 12:2

Christians need one another. God's Word – the good news of forgiveness, reconciliation, and new creation in Jesus Christ – does not spring naturally from the human heart or intellect. It can only be communicated through the witness in word and deed of faithful believers listening attentively to one another, actively helping one another, and bearing one another. Empowered by the Holy Spirit, through such practical yet essential ministry, Christians are able to become proclaimers of God’s Word for and to one another. In a multiplicity of ways, the ministry or service Christians offer is that of ―meeting one another as bringers of the message of salvation. Bonhoeffer, Life Together

Well, even after all of last night’s Blood Red Super Eclipse hoopla, it is still there. Silently still. A full moon low over the western horizon greeting the new day of pinky golden wisps in the east. A new day. Every day. And sometimes the night whispers dark sad thoughts to me, and I wake up unrefreshed and weary, weighted down by the cares of the day before it even begins.

And Sunday was a beautiful reminder of the unexpected. Because He is like that. I woke up raspy throated and sneezy and tired before I even started up Sentential Peak as usual. And I managed to talk myself out of the weekly discipline, and turned around after only a mile, convinced of its hopelessness and settled on a quick vuelta around Reid Park.

But at the corner I bumped into one of those bicycle clumps. Twenty people hunched over their road bikes that cost more than their cars and their feet neatly clipped into their pedals. And I asked if I could join, and they asked if I were a safe rider, and I didn’t know how to answer that, so I asked where we were going. To Sahuaro National Park East. Like a 44-mile loop. And btw this is a training group for El Tour of Tucson with no dropping.

Sort of like those Yogi Berra quotes. When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

And I did it.

And how beautiful those rolling hills are in the bright morning light.

Reverend Susan talked about courage yesterday too. And opening different doors.

And maybe this new day thing is a reminder that we are a new creation in Christ Jesus. To be reminded what a fresh start is like because we need it every single morning as we head out into the world of people proclaiming the good news of forgiveness and reconciliation.

To a proclaimer of God’s Word because it is written all over who I am. In word and deed.

And last night the Monday night group talked about loving my brother. As in if you say you love God and do not love your brother, you lie.

God did not make this person as I would have made him. He did not give him to me as a brother for me to dominate and control, but in order that I might find above him the Creator. Now the other person, in the freedom with which he was created, becomes the occasion of joy, whereas before he was only a nuisance and an affliction. God does not will that I should fashion the other person according to the image that seems good to me, that is, in my own image; rather in his very freedom from me God made this person in His image. I can never know beforehand how God's image should appear in others. That image always manifests a completely new and unique form that comes solely from God's free and sovereign creation. To me the sight may seem strange, even ungodly. But God creates every man in the likeness of His Son, the Crucified. After all, even that image certainly looked strange and ungodly to me before I grasped it. Bonheoffer, Life Together

And a helpful thing is that each and every one of my kiddos has stitched across his or her chest in bright colors, “Image of God.”

May He give me eyes to see.

Overwhelmed.

. . . the love of Christ overwhelms us when we consider that if one man died for all, then all have died; his purpose in dying for all humanity was that those who live should live not any more for themselves, but for him who died and was raised to life for them. From now onwards, then, we do not consider anyone by human standards: even if we were once familiar with Christ according to human standards, we do not know him in that way any longer. So for anyone who is in Christ, there is a new creation; the old order is gone and a new being is there to see. It is all God’s work, he reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation. I mean, God was in Christ reconciling the world to himself, not holding anyone’s faults against them, but entrusted to us the message of reconciliation. 2 Corinthians 5:14–19

Dear LORD God, overwhelm me with Your love. Let me live in the place of joy and thanksgiving that You do not hold my faults against me, but have entrusted to me the message of reconciliation.

Almighty God, You have surrounded me with a great cloud of witnesses: Grant that I, encouraged by the good example of Your servants, may persevere in running the race that is set before me, until at last I may attain to Your eternal joy; through Jesus Christ, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, for ever and ever. Amen.

The Gospel, by Heather Voelkel Schaber

I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

I Cor 9:23

Every valley shall be raised up and every mountain and hill made low; the rough ground shall become level and the rugged places plain. And the glory of the Lord will be revealed and ALL mankind together will see it.

Is 40:4-5

This last six months or so I hit a sort of crisis. I’ve been feeling very unsure of my role or place or belonging in the church, which lead me to feel very unsure of my role or place or belonging in The Church. It’s been months of bobbing along somewhat aimlessly, letting the tide take me to this church for one Sunday or that church for another Sunday or maybe on Sunday there was no church in sight so it would just be a Sunday of floating alone.

The last few weeks the word gospel has surfaced in quite a few settings. I’ve been loosely fingering the word in my brain, wondering what it actually means. What is the good news for me? What is the good news for people who know Christ? What is the good news for people who don’t know Christ? How do I experience or live out the good news? What does it mean to proclaim good news?

Fast fact: the word “gospel,” as so frequently used by Paul, is actually an incredibly common greek word that intonated political good news. For example, if the king had a baby, he would send out a gospel to the whole kingdom letting them know of the birth. Or if the king won a battle, he would send out a gospel to the people letting them know that the war was over.

So Jesus actually co-opted this word- people understood the gospel as a broad proclamation that impacted everyone in a positive way. Moreover, Jesus actually was NOT the first prophet to use this word. The prophet Isaiah was famous for his gospel in Isaiah 40, which is that the Jewish people were free to go home- God would clear every obstacle in their way for them. The mountains in their lives that needed bulldozing- He would remove them. The valleys of hopelessness and despair that seemed too deep to escape- He would raise them up.

The gospel as described by both Isaiah and Jesus, it seems, is that God will remove ALL obstacles to bring people close to himself. The gospel is a little bit that Jesus died, but I think even more, it’s that he LIVES. He lives in the now to bring healing, to bring reconciliation, to bring hope.

It’s interesting- forgiveness has nothing to do with the person who did wrong and has everything to do with the person who was wronged. The person who was wronged can forgive without the the receiver even knowing that they were forgiven. Forgiveness has everything to do with the heart of the forgiver and nothing, really, to do with the one who did injury.

Reconciliation, however, is a two-way deal. Both parties have to meet in the middle. The one who did injury has to repent- has to turn around and walk towards the party they hurt. The one who was injured has to turn and face the one who hurt them- has to reach out to the one that brought injury.

When Jesus died, he brought forgiveness. It has nothing, really, to do with us. We are forgiven because he DECIDED to forgive. Reconciliation, however, is two-ways. That’s why Jesus rose again and came BACK to earth after death. For us to actually experience reconciliation and healing, we have to turn and meet Jesus in the middle. We turn and reach out to Him, and He turns and reaches out to us. In that place of us reaching and of Jesus reaching, that’s where LIFE happens. That’s where we experience purpose and fulfillment. That’s where our cups overflow with blessing.

I think that’s good news for me. It’s good news that my being forgiven has nothing to do with me. I’m forgiven even when I reject Christ in my life. It’s done. It was His decision to forgive me and what or who I am isn’t even in the cards. It’s good news, too, that He wants more for me than just forgiveness. He is willing to do ANYTHING to meet me where I’m at. He’ll even demolish mountains so that the path to meeting Him is clear- so that the path to healing and reconciliation and hope, is clear.

To the quick

Let my cry come before you, O LORD; give me understanding, according to Your word.

Let my supplication come before You; deliver me, according to Your promise. Psalm 119:169-170

Sometimes those lightening bolts from heaven strike. The ones we plead for, the ones for understanding.

And, well, sometimes they pierce like a sword into the heart, slice and dice, and reveal what has been hidden.  And it can be humbling. This in-sight, seeing inside and the sin that lays there, putrefying, poisoning quietly and steadily.

And this morning the prayer of Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; see if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting turned into a spotlight beam.

And wow, I don’t even know how to begin to making things right, where the path of reconciliation will lead; right now it seems pretty hopeless.

But at least I know where it begins. Right now, confession. Because not only is He faithful and just and cleansing, but He is merciful. And in Him is my trust. My trust alone.

And ol’ Phil Drysdale, the guy going through a hard time as well, reminds himself and me and all of us what is true: If you want to rediscover your joy and peace the first step is placing your hope firmly in the one who is unchangingly good and is for you in every way.

Answer me when I call, O God, defender of my cause; you set me free when I am hard-pressed; have mercy on me and hear my prayer. Know that the LORD does wonders for the faithful when I call upon the LORD, He will hear me. Tremble, then, and do not sin; speak to your heart in silence upon your bed. Lift up the light of your countenance upon us, O LORD. You have put gladness in my heart, more than when grain and wine and oil increase. I lie down in peace; at once I fall asleep; for only you, LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalm 4

A single Bright Morning Star

You strengthen me more and more; you enfold and comfort me. Psalm 71:24

The law of the LORD is perfect and revives the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure and gives wisdom to the innocent. The statutes of the LORD are just and rejoice the heart; the commandment of the LORD is clear and gives light to the eyes. Psalm 19:7-8

What is true, that is the word of the LORD. The Word. And seeing life from the comfort of His bosom changes everything.

The love of God is not a mild benevolence but it is a consuming fire. Bede Griffeths

God’s love is not conditional. We cannot do anything to deserve God’s love–for which reason it is called grace and we need not do anything to provoke it. It is already there. Any love that is going to be salvific must be of this type–absolutely unconditional and free. Beatrice Bruteau

In other words, God in Christ was reconciling the world to Himself, not holding men’s faults against them. 2 Corinthians 5:19

God reconciled all things, everything in heaven and everything in earth, when He made peace by His death on the cross. Colossians 1:20

When God comes streaming into our lives in the power of His Word, all He asks is that we be stunned and surprised, let our mouths hang open, and begin to breathe deeply. –Brennan Manning

And my withered in-the-heat-of-a-summer-day soul has been denched. That is what perfect means, It is done. Nothing else needs to be striven or struggled. And the water of life soaks in deeply, reaching down to my core. And I can lift up and rest. It is well with my soul.

And I am settled in His love. That is enough. I am Abba’s Child, innocent and cared for. His wisdom is gentle and good, whispered sweetly.  The voices have been silenced.

And as promised in the dusty desert of Cuernavaca, the injustice has been righted. Been righted in my understanding, I have repented, been given a new mind. I clearly know that very injustice was nailed onto that cross of Golgotha. It is finished. And in this new mind a great song of joy wells up from deep within my heart. I imagine that it is still out of tune, but Bless the LORD oh my soul soars up into the single morning star dawn.

And that truth is light onto my path. And seeing clearly, instead of stumbling along an unknown path is so reviving. Wow. I can keep going. Not that I know what lies around the corner, but at least I am not getting whacked unexpectedly at every turn so that I develop this weird ugly sort of wincing and ducking step. I can walk with a lilt to my step. A bounce. And that is who I am. 

Resting in the quiet of the Benedictine nuns' song

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14

By the tender mercies of our God who from on high will bring the rising sun to visit us, to give light to those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, and to guide our feet into the way of peace. Luke 1:78-79

Compassionate tenderness is the heart of our Abba, and thus is our heart, as His children. This is the mark of the life filled by the Spirit, The love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit which has been given us.

Brennon Manning: Scripture points to an intimate connection between compassion and forgiveness. According to Jesus, a distinctive sign of Abba’s child in his willingness to forgive our enemies. Love your enemies and do good…and you will be sons of the Most High for He Himself is kind to the ungrateful and the wicked. In the Lord’s Prayer we acknowledge the primary characteristic of Abba’s children when we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” Jesus presents His Abba as a model for our forgiveness: the king in Matthew 18 who forgiven a fantastic sum, an unpayable debt, the God who forgives without limit, the meaning of seventy times seven.

…The demands of forgiveness are so daunting that they seem humanly impossible. The exigencies of forgiveness are simply beyond the capacity of ungraced human will. Only reckless confidence in a Source great than ourselves can empower us to forgive the wounds inflicted by others. In boundary moments such as these there is only one place to go–Calvary.

…Stay there for a long time and watch as Abba’s Only-Begotten dies utterly alone in bloody disgrace. Watch as He breathes forgiveness on His torturers at the moment of their greatest cruelty and mercilessness. On that lonely hill outside the city wall of old Jerusalem you will experience the healing power of the dying Lord.

Ah, a long time.

On that Sunday not so long ago, July 15, in fact, the birthday of that nice man who threw away his crutches. On that Sunday, after I made my weary painful ride up the cobblestoned street to the humble parish church, I knelt in the back pew and considered the bloody Only-Begotten in utter aloneness. Gripped by his grace, “Father, forgive them for they know not what they do.”

None of us know what we do. We stumble through this world with smeary lenses of self-interest and shallow busyness and intentional distractedness to protect us from the other. Understanding triggers the compassion that makes forgiveness possible.

May we peek over the thick adobe walls piled high to protect us from knowing and being known in all of our brokenness and truly see. Not simply the other, the beloved child of God peeking out from his respective wall, but the One who so tenderly and so unconditionally loves us. Loves me.

Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion and tenderness on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget.

The crucified Christ is not only a heroic example to the church; He is the power and wisdom of God, a living force in His present risenness, transforming our lives and enabling us to extend the hand of reconciliation to our enemies.

And today Lord, may I toss aside my smeared glasses, tossed aside like those now unnecessary crutches which only impede and slow down my bounding into kneeling down gratitude, and see. Seventy times seven.

Waiting for our last Spanish train

Cuanto esta lejos el oriente del occidente, hizo alejar de nosotros nuestros rebelliones. Salmo 103,12

Dios estaba en Cristo reconciliando consigo al mundo, no tomandoles en cuenta a los hombres sus pecados, y nos encargo a nosotros la palabra de la reconciliacion. 2 Corintios 5,9

Cantad, cristianos por doquier, con dulce melodia, load al Dios de gran saltando de alegria, al don precioso que nos dio cuando a gran precio nos compro. A voces celebramos. Martin Lutero

I sense that I am entering a new stage of my Way with Jesus. For many years my heart verse has been Psalm 84, which has focused on the journey and His provision, “Blessed are those whose strength is in you, in whose heart are the pilgrimage to Zion. As they go through the Valley of Bitterness, they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.”

But I step from this comforting, but well, individual, even self-centric walk, shifting with great joy to my, to our, great calling: 

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.

From now on therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation."

And now I have a much bigger and better sense of this beloved world that was reconciled to God through Christ, the precious gift by which He bought us. As far as the east is from the west, He has put away our rebellions. Sing, Christians, with sweet melody, with a great leap of joy, together we celebrate, and controlled by His love, we no longer living for ourselves, rather we carry this true message of reconciliation to the ends of the earth.

Holy, holy, holy.  

May the circle be unbroken

A saber, que Dios estaba en Cristo reconciliando al mundo consigo mismo, no tomando en cuenta a los hombres sus transgresiones, y nos ha encomendado a nosotros la palabra de la reconciliación. 2 Corintios 5, 19

Cantad, cristinos por doquier, con dulce melodia: load al Dios de gran poder saltando de alegria; al don precioso que nos dio cuando a gran precio nos compro. A voces celebramos. Martin Lutero

Matteo's violin magically turned into a fiddle last night. Marco conducted one merry band through the construction of 64 artisan pizzas slid into the blazing wood oven and served to a veritable representation of a reconciled world: a Moroccan shopkeeper and a singer from Mexico City, the vibrant politician who moved smoothly through the smiles, and the one who needed crutches to make his way to the chair, the grandparents and the youngster tugging on his poppa's nose, an Italian belly dancer and a traveling fire spinner, the Nigerian seeking medical aid for her niece and the San Franciscan progressive artists, while Matteo led a second band of skilled musicians in joyous song that swelled until the melody overflowed into the moonlit sky.

And we prayed that this God of great power would hold back the rain that poured down on the fields, the plaza and even the neighbors, and not even a drop fell among sparkling lights.

Praise to the God of great power, jumping for joy, for all of His precious gifts, especially The One through Whom we are reconciled.

Supping at His table, not mine

And out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt. Matthew 18:27

So Alan and I paid off our mortgage for 220 South Country Club Road last month. Or two months ago. Whoopee.  I guess. Because there really has been absolutely no change in anything as far as I can see, except I am sort of vaguely worried that I won’t pay the property tax on time or did our USAA insurance get canceled and anyway the mortgage has been automatically sucked out of our Tucson Federal Credit Union account for so many years that it never seemed very tangible. Just sort of a general weight hanging around that made me feel one with the masses.  And I guess I always tried to figure out how to deduct the interest off of my Federal income taxes, but it never seemed to make much of a difference.

And even as a child the “Behold, I stand at the door and knock” verse always made me uncomfortable.  And it’s only gotten worse, because I am so aware of the large sheafs of peeling paint in the back room and the kinda cute “artwork” Nicole finessed in the guest shower to make light of the fact that you have to turn on the shower with a wrench, and don’t even get me started about the cockroach-infested kitchen. And nice pastors always talk about Jesus going through my cupboards with me and helping me clean things up a bit, and really that makes my stomach tighten into knots because I know that the closet in Jincheng’s room is stuffed to the gills with random stuff like crumpled American Girl dolls and empty picture frames and old prom dresses.  

But that’s not the way it is at all.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.  2 Corinthians 5:20-21  

And He really isn’t coming into my tattered and bedraggled albeit somewhat picturesque home.  Rather I have (past tense) stepped out into His glorious grace, according to the abundance of His steadfast love, because of who He is, not because of me. The old is done and gone. I have been released. 

And rather than the chore of sorting through my old rubbish, trying to decide what is salvageable, and what should be donated to Goodwill, and what should be hauled out immediately to the trash bin with an extended arm and pinched nose, it has been taken care of, totally. By Him.

And the whole thing about this story of the ungrateful servant is that I am not forgiving seventy times seven times with my leaky and spider-webbed and quite honestly, pretty self-centered understanding of paying off debt. Complete with mosquitos swirling, lazily, because they know exactly where their next fat and hapless meal is coming from. 

No. Rather I am joyfully welcoming the world to join me in place of reconciliation. His reconciliation. His mercy. His grace. Abundant and overflowing. The love of Christ which passes knowledge and understanding.

As He has forgiven me my debts. Glory

Waiting for the wind to shift

At that time the disciples came to Jesus, saying, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, He put him in the midst of them and said,“Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Matthew 18:1-4

And you know what is really humbling?  To give cups of cold water to one of these little ones. Cupbearers don’t get thanked very often.  I got an email of reality from a beloved cupbearer this morning.  Someone who has left it all to search out straying sheep. The destitute of hope and light and truth.  And it is not easy to feed scowling, fearful people who are imprisoned and don’t know when or how their suffering will end. And who never say thank you, but turn a moment of generosity in His Name into a sort of “you are stupid and I will be able to manipulate you to get more stuff from you” moment. Which did I already say, is humbling.

And you never know.  

You might never know who will spit into the cup or pour it on the ground.  Or sell it to someone else for a tidy profit. Or throw it back into your face. But it doesn’t matter.  We are called to give out the cups of water. In His name, because we are His disciples. 

And sometimes the water splashes onto a sown seed in fertile soil, and it brings forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.

And you never know.  

Last night our community group talked about this act of serving as a Vineyard value.  The wind has shifted in Tucson and blown away the sweltering heat. And we sat wrapped in blankets by the first fire in the outdoor fireplace under the thousands and thousands of twinkly Sergio and Janelle wedding lights. Hung by all of those delightful uncles and cousins who showed up early in the morning and worked with a smile on their faces because they love Sergio and then they disappeared.

But their lights still shine.

The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

And it isn’t easy, this message of reconciliation.  Humbling oneself is not poetic or picturesque. To die to ourselves and our late-night crabbiness and aching back or pressures and expectations from our job and our understanding of how things should be done or our need to get things done and see quantifiable results. And of course a lot of us were taught to argue people into the kingdom. Except that really doesn’t work. And it’s not at all what Jesus did. He who leaves the ninety-nine on the mountains and go in search of the one that went astray.

Do what Jesus did. Pause and look to the edges of the crowd. Or the one in the tree. Or the unclean outside city limits. The outliers.

And catch the splashes of the water He has given us, a spring of water welling up to eternal life in our small cup and offer it to the least of these, completely humble and gentle; patient, bearing with one another in love. And trust in Him to do the work, the LORD of the harvest, even when it is really dark.

For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways, says the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts. For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth, and make it bring forth and bud, that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater, so shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; It shall not return to Me void, but it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.

A promise.