Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my strength and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
Set a watch before my mouth, O LORD, and guard the door of my lips; let not my heart incline to any evil thing. Psalm 141:3
Seems to be a theme here.
And what are the evil things to which my heart inclines? Things that I think about as miles and miles of northern Arizona plains roll past that cute little black car. The battle in my heart for control. Me wanting to run my own thoughts, plans and actions. What is with that propensity? Surely by now I know better. But no, it is a continual scrimmage. Awareness. Acknowledgement. Release. Around and around.
Awareness- um, not thinking that this thought honors God or brings joy to Him. Judgement instead of love. Heaviness instead of joy. Fretful fear instead of peace.
Acknowledgment- Dear LORD, my heart is not producing the fruit of the Spirit. I must have shoved Him aside once again. It is indeed a measurable outcome of who is running my life: patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, self-control, faith. There really is no pretending.
Release- and once again, the plea- let the meditation of my heart be an acceptable sacrifice of joy to You, O LORD, my strength and redeemer. My strength to live moment by moment in You, and my Redeemer, who has saved me from myself. And we all know, our tongue is a fire that cannot be tamed- it tells the true story of what is going on in the heart.
And this is not a bad thing, this continual conversation with God. Brother Laurence called it Practicing the Presence of God. The Psalmist and James acknowledge that we all stumble. And when I visit these Christian school directors and yet another one asks, “How do we create measurable outcomes to see if our mission statement of creating disciples of Christ is effective?”, my thoughts return to the Fruit.
And there is a funny little postscript, Psam 19:15: Let the righteous smite me in friendly rebuke.
Accountability?
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